Threat or not, I don't think that's the root of the problem, they are competition that is that and that is animal instinct, you either bow down or rise to the challenge. Such is basic evolution, those who succeed in the courting dance, procreate and further the evolutionary chain.

The question is not identifying who may or may not be an alpha or competition, its deciding the person you want to be. Do you want to be the guy that succeeds? Quit looking for qualities in other people and focus your attention on yourself.