I don't have her number. It actually came into my head to ask her out the first time we met on that night out. I should not have thought twice about that and should have done it there and then. Could have saved myself a lot of suffering. Instead I got up in my head and thought "nah it's far too soon". I should just have showed my intentions.

Believe it or not this is me 'cooled off' relatively speaking with that girl. You are right about overthinking and messing up. Back when I first met her I was so in my head about 'us' I couldn't speak to her normally. I believe this is called an emotional relationship. Except I'm sure it was pretty much one way.

Interestingly a woman friend I have told me that she was like this at her workplace about her husband for a year before he asked her out. Except it wasn't one way obviously, they were both thinking / feeling the same thing.

She tried to sneak a look at his personnel record to find out his name and anything about him. She imagined them going on holiday together to Blackpool. That is eventually where they went on honeymoon. She stalked him. He only asked her out when he overheard some maintenance guy saying he fancied her and he panicked. They've been married 25 years.

Suppose the moral of the story is you just never know what the score is until you ask. And be mature about it whatever the outcome may be. Go for it or move on.