I've been feeling pritty fucking awesome the last 2-3 days.



The chat with a friend from the past really made me accept that things aren't as they seem. I believe that I already questioned my beliefs on the past to the point where I was close to accepting that I was wrong as truth; but after I'd finished talking to him and all of what had just happened sunk in I realized that in them brief 4-5 minutes I'd fully accepted that my past is nothing to dwell on and that I should focus on the present. It was like flicking on a light switch.



For the first 2 days after this (Friday & Saturday) I was so happy that nobody could knock me down. I wasn't thinking as much and when I did start to think I stopped it fast; ant under the boot style. I approached loads of people, though I didn't class it as 'approaching'. Instead I classed it simply as 'me being myself'. I wouldn't say I was in a fully present state but I was certainly feeling more present; present and optimistic. I was more focused, more aware of my surroundings, my goals became clearer and seemed realistic. My whole attitude started to change.



Today I woke up and picked up my ipod, folder 'RSD - blueprint' - play. It's my 2nd time listening to the Blueprint. I'm only 3 hours into it and a lot of it is hitting me on a totally different level than last time.

"Most people in the world walk through life in a walking daze"

I didn't really understand this the first time. I remember thinking 'well whatever it is I certainly do not do that'. Now I totally understand what he means. The rest of the Blueprint (so far) is making a lot more sense to me.



***A SIDE NOTE***
After all of this happened I've been able to get to sleep so much easier. I use to have to wait for sometimes hours before I'd fall asleep, other times I'd have this really high pitched almost static sound in my head. I believe this was basically me thinking about stuff and that stuff's stuff and that stuff's stuff. This has disappeared and now I'm sleeping life a fucking baby.