Quote:
Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ
Thursday 19th September
The new canteen girl at work is always really friendly to me, always makes a point of saying hi, asking how i am and how my days going. Noticed this for weeks - however at work I have my work hat on, always thinking about what I need to do for the day & try not to spend too much time talking to folk if I'm away from my desk, its not that i don't take her on, but I don't really have time to talk. She also looks a bit rough, I'd say she's ok but not my type.
i saw her outside smoking, when I'm out I do it to get away from my desk and get 5 mins peace. I saw her standing there and thought I should go over and speak to her but my head started doing this:
"I'm too busy"
"I'm not in the mood"
"I don't know what to say"
"This will be weird" + about another 4-5 excuses.
I burst out laughing in my own head - i just realised....I was coming up with so many excuses not to do this! So i thought, as a test - lets just see how many more excuses my head generates not to talk to her and I stood and let them flow and its crazy what my brain was saying to me not to talk to her haha!!
So then I tried something different; what reasons would I have to go and speak to her:
"She seems to want to talk to me"
"Its just her and me here"
"Its a nice day, weather is good"
"She might want to talk to me"
And a few more......
Its amazing how you can change that train of thought if you you can stand back and be aware of those thoughts, take a minute and look at them from a different angle.
At the end of the day I saw her finishing her shift. She had a leather jacket and a short tartan skirt on as she walked out the door and i thought "Fuck yeah, maybe I would have some of that". Maybe I'll try to speak to her more - but what i experienced in the above was a bit of an eye opener.
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This made me think of a couple of similar situations I had recently at work.
One is a girl who works in the canteen and who I only had very business -like brief exchanges with when she was serving me food, taking the money, etc.
Quite regularly we were both standing outside smoking, no one else around. She was browsing her phone and I didn't say anything (same list of excuses).
One day when I was feeling confident I just stood looking straight at the top of her head (she was sitting me standing).
When she looked up from her phone and made eye contact I just smiled and said "hi, how's it going, you alright?"
Then we had a 10 minute convo that we both enjoyed. I just do not understand why I hadn't done that before. Couldn't push through the fear I guess.
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Girl two is one who I find more physically attractive than the canteen girl. Something foreign and mysterious about her too.
She is always out smoking with her girlfriend when I see her. This is my main excuse for not talking to her.
But there have been two times where she was on her own. The first time she was stood with her back to me, which I read as body language for her not wanting to talk.
But If I had spoke I'm sure she would have turned around. I'm realising it was just another irrational excuse for not doing it.
On the other occasion I was walking toward her and she gave me a good 3 second stare. To me she was saying "come talk to me".
I didn't but I can't remember even having an excuse that time. It's like my legs took on a life of their own and directed me past her to another part of the smoking area. I beat myself up pretty bad after that one.
Since then I managed to have some small talk with her in the lift as we were both going in one morning. But it didn't allow enough time to chat properly.