Thanks for the feedback guys.
I do sometimes have issues with self-esteem and I find meditation is helping.
I was watching a RSD video earlier where Owen says he remains present so he can rise above his thoughts. That's what I'm trying to do; it's easier than trying to change the thoughts.

Anyway onto Saturday's field report.

A last minute decision, I decided to get the train to London to go out with a couple of guys from the forum (Paul & Paul2).

I felt good at this point. I walked onto the train platform in Farnborough and noticed a petite girl with long black hair. We held eye contact and she looked away. She was super cute. At this point what did I do? Nothing I got on the train as did she. I really should have said something, anything.

An hour later I'm at Angel tube station waiting for the guys. I've never been out in Angel and I was conscious as always that I had limited time as so I could catch my last train.

We went to the first bar which had lots of tables and most people sitting down. Paul opened 2 girls sitting on a table and gestured for us to join.
There was a blonde and brunette, both Paul's were sitting opposite the girls. I couldn't really hear the conversations.

I started talking to the brunette, she worked for a PR company, I asked her exactly what that meant. I genuinely made an effort to listen to her and found it interesting. Conversation didn't go anywhere after that. We decided to eject and go elsewhere.

On the way out we critiqued our performance. Paul2 mentioned brunette immediately switched off when we were talking about work.
I didn't agree with this but didn't dispute it. In my mind I had stopped speaking to her because it was noisy and I didn't want to shout over a table so speak with her.

We went to another pub and chatted to ourselves. Went to a few more bars and Paul did get a number close.

It was now 22.45 I had to leave at 23.00 I had not approached anyone up to this point just winged. Went back to the first bar which was now a lot busier. I felt terrible at this point, not relaxed, not congruent, not myself.

Forced myself to open 2 girls at the bar, they were pleasant enough, just no real connection was made and they soon departed.

Saw a cute blonde and brunette, so opened them. Soon as I started talking to the blonde the brunette started staring at her phone.
I said something like 'hey Facebook girl' to get her attention, she did respond but went back into her phone.
Blondy then introduces me to their third friend, another hot brunette, who was from Guildford.
Wasn't feeling relaxed and the original brunette wanted shot of me. She said 'we've got boyfriends' - I was like 'that's fine - I'm being social'
I could see the blonde girl was disappointed when I didn't put up a fight but I had to leave to catch my train.

Next time:
Focus on having a good time
Amuse myself (I'm going to start jumping up and down if I'm bored)
Do not judge or talk game when out. (If other people do just ignore it)
At least say 'hello' if hot girl on train gives me the eye, grr!

Mark