It is verbose I agree. I had put in that the zip waz gold but decided to take that out for the sake of brevity. I don't speak like that tho.

I don't remember the opener word for word but she got the message ok. I'll gamble all she will remember is a guy stopped her and said she was cute. You're splitting hairs a bit on the words used.

But helpful advice K on report writing and point taken. I want folk to read them. I'lll take more time with them so hopefully they will be better/easier to read.