Plenty of fish is so fucking useless. I thought that when I moved to a city there would be loads of pussy meet ups, but I've never actually met anyone off it.

Any girls I have been even remotely close to meeting up with turned out to be absolute fuck ups, for example a few months ago I was gunna meet this girl, we had messaged loads & everything seems good, until she said this.... "and when you come here would you pretend to be a little doggy for me? I'll put you on a lead & you can crawl around the floor for me? I'm sorry if that freaks you out a bit babe but I'm really into that"

I was thinking what in the name of fuck is wrong with this total weirdo!?

So I sat shocked for a while, even had a laugh about it with my wee sis, & then decided I'd pretend to be into it, to see just how much of a mental case this bitch was (i had also decided I wasn't meeting her anymore in case I got kidnapped & locked in her sex dungeon) & yeah she was insane, told me she has boys do it all the time, that some do it really well & even "treat her" to other animal imitations like sheep & cows, with full sound effects all round.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.



Anyways this post is about why the site is so shit. I message girls with funny shit & get no replies, if I send 50 messages, I'll get one back if I'm lucky.

My profile is always funny etc, but through laziness was usually always copied & pasted off some American douche, this is what I changed it to a little while ago written by myself:


About me

I am such a nice guy. I really am.

I am looking to find "the one" & live happily ever after.

I am really ambitious & I have lots going on but my life is incomplete without that one special lady to share it with.

I have a good sense of humour & love to tell jokes.

I like watching movies especially rom com's, eastenders, & come dine with me.

In my spare time I will be out helping old ladies across the street, & cooing at cute little babies.

I m a real romantic at heart & just a lovely guy.

**DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST READ!! That was one of my other personalities talking, & he is always telling lies!**

That profile fits nicely in with all the other boring lame "average Joe's" & this makes me soo happy to know that girls will see the real me :') STOP IT!.. That was my other personality again grrr




Ok so, the real me is NOT the guy detailed above, but I do have his best bits.

In real life I am awesome, & I adore YOU

Come on, what are you waiting for girl!?


First date

First date hmmmm.....if you take me for an expensive meal, you will definitely get a kiss at the end of the night




If this profile doesn't work, I give up on that shite site.