ALWAYS do the bum test

Put your finger in her bum...pull it out and put it in her mouth

Once you have done this test ..kissing is disabled for 24 hours

Me neither altho I may have a look, just for the bum craic

the first thing that crossed my mind when you said she was a copper was that she was ginger!

I Always thought you were a pig fucker Jaz.

i really should write a pof guide on here....

Plenty of fish is so fucking useless. I thought that when I moved to a city there would be loads of pussy meet ups, but I've never actually met anyone off it.

Any girls I have been even remotely close to meeting up with turned out to be absolute fuck ups, for example a few months ago I was gunna meet this girl, we had messaged loads & everything seems good, until she said this.... "and when you come here would you pretend to be a little doggy for me? I'll put you on a lead & you can crawl around the floor for me? I'm sorry if that freaks you out a bit babe but I'm really into that"

I was thinking what in the name of fuck is wrong with this total weirdo!?

So I sat shocked for a while, even had a laugh about it with my wee sis, & then decided I'd pretend to be into it, to see just how much of a mental case this bitch was (i had also decided I wasn't meeting her anymore in case I got kidnapped & locked in her sex dungeon) & yeah she was insane, told me she has boys do it all the time, that some do it really well & even "treat her" to other animal imitations like sheep & cows, with full sound effects all round.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.



Anyways this post is about why the site is so shit. I message girls with funny shit & get no replies, if I send 50 messages, I'll get one back if I'm lucky.

My profile is always funny etc, but through laziness was usually always copied & pasted off some American douche, this is what I changed it to a little while ago written by myself:


About me

I am such a nice guy. I really am.

I am looking to find "the one" & live happily ever after.

I am really ambitious & I have lots going on but my life is incomplete without that one special lady to share it with.

I have a good sense of humour & love to tell jokes.

I like watching movies especially rom com's, eastenders, & come dine with me.

In my spare time I will be out helping old ladies across the street, & cooing at cute little babies.

I m a real romantic at heart & just a lovely guy.

**DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST READ!! That was one of my other personalities talking, & he is always telling lies!**

That profile fits nicely in with all the other boring lame "average Joe's" & this makes me soo happy to know that girls will see the real me :') STOP IT!.. That was my other personality again grrr




Ok so, the real me is NOT the guy detailed above, but I do have his best bits.

In real life I am awesome, & I adore YOU

Come on, what are you waiting for girl!?


First date

First date hmmmm.....if you take me for an expensive meal, you will definitely get a kiss at the end of the night




If this profile doesn't work, I give up on that shite site.

That girl was either a guy or a girl taking the piss out of you.

I arranged 2 dates off pof, one flaked and the other was cool. Plenty of flakes at the near meeting stages of chat though.

However the girl I met shown me her pof account and how many messages she gets, I mean she must have had 30 maybe 40 a day.. She messaged me which is why she ended up meeting up with me, I don't use it at the moment but I found it an excellent way to practice my text game, Infact I got rather good and I'm thinking of re enabling my account just for that purpose but having seen the men:women ratio message wise I've been avoiding it like the plauge.

Remember most the people on there (that are not wierdos and you would say were hot) are not really there for dating and only for validation. even some that message you will just be sat around with their girlfriends laughing at people on there. But not all of them, I'd just say use it as practice for texting, it's definitely indirectly got me laid a fair bit and it was good to see how far you can push certain boundaries with people you don't care about.

EDIT:

Oh and stop messaging girls first. Make your tag line and main picture build interest and just view profiles rather than message.

This old Chestnut again. Plenty of Cock is largely a waste of time I find, I'd say you're not getting responses Dan because;

1) It's largely full of cock
2) The humour in your profile is obscure/borderline creepy. As a guy reading that I felt a little bit weirded out, to a girl you might sound schizophrenic.

Also looks tend to matter more on there, so if you haven't got a good pic up or you're just not that good looking people tend not to give you the time of day.

Don't send copy/paste messages, it's obvious. Send a message specific to them based on their interests/observations from their photo's etc.

Meeting girls for dates from POF is a piss of piece. The disappoint i've found is that when you meet them in real life they're not as hot as their profile pics (which are always going to be pictures of them taken at their best/edited/cleverly masked with shadow/contrast etc) or they are just plain weird or dull. Only once have I met a girl who was hotter in real life and she was bang-tidy but a bit of a fruit-cake.

It's a bit too chavy for me as well CuZ iT iZ FrEe InNiT BaBeS!! you get a lot of pond life.

I've found being a bit of cunt/arrogant in your profile with splashes of humour works well.

However I think you're better off hitting on girls face to face when you're out and about, the odds are more in your favor as your online message isn't buried underneath lame messages from 40-50 other chumps sent that same day.

To make things clearer, here's a song about the pitfalls of internet 'dating'...
mc lars-internet relationships - YouTube

Just a non-pickup technical side note. It seems the more "activity" you do on pof, the more girls notice you (higher up in the searches?). Be willing to spend a few hours a day and be willing to travel if you want results. Can't be fucked with it myself.

In my experience, POF is a criminally heinous waste of time. I stopped using it months ago. To endorse some of the things that have already been mentioned.

A few girls I've spoken to have said that they get inundated with messages from guys daily.

Definitely.

Yep.

Do yourself a favour, don't waste your time and effort on there.

Tonight whilst having a beer with my mate he asked me why I don't use dating sites.

Why would I waste hours trawling profiles when I can get a girls number when I see her and set up a D2 then and there. No messaging/email necessary.