So I met this girl through online dating and we're going on our fourth date tonight. We get along well and she is chatty, confident and hot. But after three dates we still haven't even kissed.

I realise the importance of kino and building this up in readiness, but she hasn’t been responsive to my touching of her hair and hands in conversation. She doesn't flinch or move away, she just doesn't respond at all as if it's not happening.

On the third date I was dropping her off at hers when she pre-empted any attempt at a goodnight kiss before I even stopped the car by saying her last two relationships were best friends first and she isn’t used to dating like this. She said she’d be more comfortable if we took it slowly and got to know each other a lot better, and she was keen to see me again (seeing her tonight).

Since then I’ve called and we’ve chatted on the phone, I’ve texted a couple of times and she responds – but 24 hours later usually.

So I’m worried about being a mug here and getting into the friendszone. I could already be at the point of no return. I do need at some point to push harder on the kino and try for the kiss – to make my intentions clear – but how soon do I do that having said yes I understand and I’ll take it slow, without scaring her off. And how do I manage this situation?

My usual style would be very AFC – I would take it slowly and keep seeing her as a friend, until she meets another guy who isn’t such a chump and takes what he wants and she dumps me. I don’t want this to happen, I need to grow and be more of a man. Just some guidance would be useful.