Let me tell you a bit about the mentallity I came from and see if it's like how you feel? In many situations I am still like this but am working to push myself to a different direction.

I can relate to the need no body idea. Rather than asking someone for help I'll work it
out myself. Whether I have to learn it or fuck it up a few times I'd rather just do it.

I don't need anyone to tell me where to go when I'm lost and need directions, don't need someone to tell me how to install the latest piece of server technology.. pretty much anything. Whether I need to rebuild an engine in my car..

It's not that I'm affraid to ask for help or have a complex against having people help me cause I am fine with it at times. I just never see it as the most efficient way to get the situation resolved. I am just very self reliant and want to work things out myself.

But friends of mine never do me any favours and that can have a negative effect on the friendships. I do a lot of favours for friends though because I am happy to do it because I enjoy it, I don't expect much back from them. If I don't want to do it I won't so I'm no mug of course.

I think I'm just a very focused person on what I want to go do, so I might not take the time to ask people round the office how there weekend was because I don't see it as a valuable use of my time. But I think the big thing about friends if you have to be willing to show an interest in giving your time to them.

Perhaps the focus needs to be switched round to thinking when you ask someone how their weekend was it's not for an immediate benefit for you but for a long term benefit. You're building a stronger relationship with that peson and in the future so that person maybe far more willing to invest time in you when you need something. Whether it just be someone to listen to you or someone to do a favour.

Another side to it is as I grew up I learnt to feel like it was me and them, that I wasn't ever appart of something that was going on. I was the outsider or observer. Now when you're unaware of this being bad you don't know any better, so you learn to do your own thing rather than be in the group or even leading the group.

So what to do about it? An example I've just taken the regional organiser role at a car club I'm a member of. This role is going to push me to develop a few skills. Both leadership, planning and communication with people. But at the sametime building relationships with people round the region and try bringing more people together to attend our events and even national events.