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Originally Posted by Jaz
I admire your honesty. Fact of the matter is you are fully aware of the situation and fairly (?) happy with that. Your asking us should you have friends? Well, I gott be honest. I would say abosloutly yes. Being introverted and wanting your own space is fine, but not having even one person you have a relationship with who you can share good times or problems with is quite sad.
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And thank you for your honesty aswell.
Ofcourse it depends on what one actually means by friends. I have "friends", but they are not people I see regularly. I have a group of close friends and we've known each other since before we were 10. But because we have our own lives and all of us live in different parts of the country, we dont see each other regularly and dont contact each other as much as perhaps we should, but its only because we know we will see each other again, and when we do we're as close as siblings.
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Originally Posted by Jaz
So are you anti social? Well yes you are. You do not care to be social and have seemingly not made enough effort in the past to maintain relationships.
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This observation is pretty fucking accurate.
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Originally Posted by Jaz
But it all depends on what you want, if you want friends you will have to make an effort to get over this anxiety you have.
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I wouldnt say Ive got anxiety, but the socialising environment I just find boring, uncomfortable, and contrived, and its doesnt interest me. This is partly due to the fact that i will always be coming from outside to the ingroup, and so wont feel very included. Im not scared of anything, and in this sense i do not have anxiety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaz
To be honest the only guy I know who has no friends, is this bloke hwo goes in my local boozer. He is a pathological lyer (always has been) and says the most outlandish shit like "I have lung cancer" that sort of thing. It has got him into all sorts of trouble in the past, like phoning the police to give info on cases. You can excuse his behavior when you know about this, but if you didnt you would just think he was an utter cunt. He will probably never have mates because it is impossible to socilize with him. You seem fairly normal on here so I wouldent worry too much.
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Luckily I am nothing like this.
But I have always viewed the pub with much scepticism as a source of friendship and socialising. I mean do people rely on the pub for their source of friendship? I dont think so.
Just because your drinking in a pub, or/and chat to people you've never met before, or if you have you would only interact with them in said pub, does not mean you have friends.
If they stopped going, they would be in a postion not totally disimilar to mine, if this was the case.
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Originally Posted by Jaz
I wonder, have you always been like this?
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Hard to say.
In my early teens, because of the nature of school i had a healthy social life. Outside it, I wouldnt meet up with people, thats for sure. I would skate alot though and so there was that aspect of my social life as i would always be meeting people especially people i knew from school.
As i got older it got worse in that people have their own little in groups, and ive always described it as 'I was friends with everyone but i didnt belong to any specific group'. It was round GCSE that i started to get really isolated, i spent all my time doing homework, always having to go to head of year because of my trouble with workoad, and once i got to AS level i just didnt really know what to do with my life, and i felt vey isolated. Also by this point at school, as you go up a year the people in your form changes, and so the second last year your in with another group of people who are focussed on passing their exams rather than studying.
People then go off to different parts of the country for 3 years for uni making new friends. (I didnt go to uni). And any old friends they have will be a select few of the best of their old friends.
Also due to the nature of work and not going to school anymore (and subsequently not being exposed to the numbers of peers you normally would if at school), I think adults in general have a somewhat reduced social life. So because of this its difficult to get a prospective
Its one of those things where I dont mind being the way I am, its only when other people (especially girls and potential GFs, etc) perceive it as odd, then thats when I start to get concerned. But I am sure there are guys who are in the same position as me, and they dont let it affect their sex life or relationships. Also if were to ever change my ways and then encounter someone exactly like me but one who doesnt let i affect their sex life or any party they happen to be in i will always be thinking 'Fuck why cant i be like that, why cant i just be myself?'.