Right im finding it hard to get any spare time (tho i wasted quite a bit earlier this week...read on) to get on here so wednesday is forum night no ifs or buts about it!!
Right i was gona say if last week was week of the champ! this was week of the chump,but i wouldnt be that hard on myself probs the week of the wobbles more like.It was always gona be hard to beat the highs of last week tho!!

Right since last i was on id arranged to meet a dirty talking goth chick.We started talking on the wednesday for 4hrs and again the thursday all got very sordid very quickly and some of the shit she was saying i was like damn!! however in hind sight all very needy and time wasted.Instead of getting hot and horny and talking dirty on facebook i should have been doing it in my bedroom!! plus she had to call the converstaion quits on the thursday while i was almost begging her to stay online,i was also on day shift and finishing talking at 2am then getting up for work at 5.30am is never smart!!

The upshot of this is we arranged to meet on saturday then changed to friday 2nd december.I decided i wanted a new rat as the cage was looking a bit empty after the other one died and she should help me pick (ended up getting 2 in the end couldnt choose haha) So i met her at the bus stop in town first thing i though was damn she must be good wid cameras as she went from an 8 on facebook to a 6 in person:S So we went from getting rats to mine, straight away i start thinking her name for the forum is gona be "Black cat" haha as if i said my dogs big her dog is bigger,if my cats black her cats blacker!! So back at mine im like uv never seen the Rocky horror show have u?? shes like no im like ur missing out big time.So i bang it on and after a half hour she says its crap ggrr im like ok she hates one of my favorite films ever this isnt going well in my head.Anyways she turns out to be a total twat tbh she tried to tell me Edd Sheeran is black,she had an original copy of Salvador Dalis metamorphosis of narcissus but wouldnt sell it as it was her nans etc total lies all the time really. S im about ready to boot her out and i think ah well i might as well fuck her before im rid.So i not really giving two fucks about her just grab her drag her to the bedroom and use and abuse her like shes a piece of meat,tell u what absolutely amazing sex,she has 3 tongue piercings and she will do anything and i mean ANYTHING!! i tell her to do WOW!!!

Saturday 3rd dec
Black cats still here,she stayed the night i fuck her again in the morning,then as im trying to think of excuses to be rid her mum rings and says she got to baby sit her sisters woo thank god.
I text Phantom as we were meant to meet in the week ...nothing and friday....nothing shes like oh i forgot :S im like u best be about tonight or ur gona fall into my naughty books!! :P.She promises she will be out.
Im busy in town all day and as im berating myself for missing out on a potentially awsome night in town the night before so my m8 said,i decide to open in town for a try (never done day game) i did a bout 2-3 nervous openers which were lame at best they didnt go well that for sure.But then i spy my tattooist in town with a hottie I know it must be his m8 as im m8s wid his bird.So i start by talking about saturday night wid his bird and the hottie surrounded by chodes (view above main post),i start doing the chode satire again with my arm round hottie etc she pisses herself,then i look over and a pakisani stall holder keeps walking about and staring at her im like that ur bf haha again she pisses herself,i sort of carry on talking for ages and keep going right ill go now then remeber something and carry on,unintentional false time constraint i recon.As im about to go i go so u out around christmas?? My tat guy is like if my sis can get in!! doh turns out shes his 17yr old sister.I get her facebook name and add her but i aint gona do shit its way 2 dodgy with me being so much older plus i dont want my m8s falling out wid me over it as it will screw my tattoo discount 2 haha
So i get a phone call from back up wanna come hers before town,im like cool.Drop in late as usual and chat shit,after a bit she has a go at me about my beard and chest hair and how she hates it,im like if its that bad why is it when ever u have half a shandy and get a bit horny u suddenly want me to squirt my man fat up u then?? haha she just pulls a face at me.Tbh i cant see me and back up fucking much more as the more interested i seem to get with Phantom the more we just seem to be friends!!
This is when things start to go down hill:s
We meet Phantom and her chavy type m8 in town and head to a small pub with bands playing,my states pretty good i hold Phantoms hand have a laugh and joke i grab her bum,as shes got a real nice short dress on that shows her awsome legs.I feel like i shoulda gone in for the kiss but i didnt silly really.I get introduced to their fat mutual friend and chat away to her while the girls bugger off to the toilet.Theyre gone for fucking ages like ages half hour i know women fart about but ffs.All the time im getting more in my head and wondering whats going on.
In the end im like im going next pub over to fatty. I walk in the door and a load of backups douche m8s are sat around,im like im just popping in for a sec till sed toilet hiders return,they point at the girls sat round the corner (Phantom and her chav m8 are also not backups m8s biggest fans) well that felt like a fucking dagger stabbed into my side!! Killed any state i had left totally in my head now,it just reminded me of when i was drinking years ago and going to the toilet to come back and everyone had ran away and left me alone,or when i was a kid and id get invited somewhere to play after school and no one would be there.I didnt know whether to lose the plot or what.So im like to the girls whats going on!!! whered u go,they say oh we missed u thort ud gone.Im like its the tiniest pub in town and i didnt move!! in the end i just drop it,i dont wanna look like a reactive chump even tho i was being a reactive chump haha i sit with the girls and back ups m8s join us "groan".Im like what do i do to get Phantom to like me talk in my head whilst telling my brain to shut up argh.A drunk friend comes over dancing to a song and just pulls Phantom up and dances with her im hating him cos i wish i thought of that,so she comes back im like fuck this pull her onto my knee,she sits but as soon as the next chair to us is free which was less than a minute she gets off again ggrr

By this time im thinking im making a complete mess with Phantom,back ups m8s are pissing me off,im sat in a pub a dont want to be in.Ill bugger of to another pub i know is usually way better,hotter girls more options and i can do some openers rebuild state and maybe catch the other lot up in a bit So im like im just going to pub B for bit as my m8s up there,theyre like we will meet u here later so off i go.I bang some music on my mp3 player whilst walking to try to get outa my head or sumat.I get there an its fucking dead im totally gutted anyone who is there is a little emo fag boy with a comb over or a fringe and skin tight jeans:s
As i head out to the beer garden i get pounced on the by this chick ive know about for years but never really got to know probs hb6-7 but going out with a cool guy i know but not close m8s with.So im like where my m8 blah blah is he not out wid u.Shes quite pissed and shes like hes a fucking prick dumped me for no reason 3days ago,obvously still burnt.Now when i look back at this situation i scream,she was flirting with me like fuck,she was obviously looking for a rebound fuck and all i needed to do was make the move.Instead in my retarded state i said uve got lipstick on your teeth "groan" and she buggered of to the bathroom to sort it.I ejected the pub rejoined the other group feeling no better.They decide to go to the grab a granny pub,which for me is always a total dead loss never seen a hot bird in there yet.Phantom has had a a big argument wid on of backups m8s and so walks way ahead of everyone with her chavvy m8.I get to the grab a granny pub look around for Phantom and think fuck this!!! At half 1 i eject with some lame excuse and txt back up and Phantom the same and head home totally dejected.This is the first time since i started out that ive done this,im not proud but i knew if i stuck around whatever attraction i had left with these girls would be killed very quickly and even back ups chode m8s seemed to be more at ease with their dancing monkey routine than i did with myself that night.

Sunday 4th decemeber
I wake gumpily to find a text from Phantom saying "soz im crap and i didnt text u last night to see if ur ok??" I think fuck this ive probs fucked it anyways time to go down like the fucking titanic.I text her "your coming out on date with me this saturday!!" she texts back "ok then Xx",wow i thought i totally fucking blew it with her?? "i txt ill sort details later in the week".Then soon after backup rings me and is like u ok u pissed off pretty quick,i was honest and said you guys fucking of really threw me and explained,she was appologetic and insisted that they had just missed me in there slightly drunken state.

I and a coupla m8s go to a gig at the birmingham nia fucking awsome gig,smashed up knee and bruises all over all in the name of metal well worth it haha.However i noticed a few things
the singer in one band you could tell he knew he was the shit by his face,anything he said the crowd did and he knew it!! wow love that confidence

a lot of the guys in the bands were fucking totally buff and looked amazing,i could tell these guys were getting pussy all over!! Its another reminded for me to get to the gym asap and get some bloody muscles

theres were some amazing birds at that gig i mean stunning everything i would want looks wise.I tried a few openers however out at a gig wid pissed m8s is never good and they kept interupting,being twat etc eventually i ran away from them and managed to open,however within minutes a massive shirtless guy turns up and says "oi u chatting up my burd" i was like "yeh m8 i am but you cant blame me can you shes gorgeous!!" he then cracked a smile at me and i winked and walked off.
I have seen black cat a few times this week including my first journey into cyber sex last night as she was away at her dads,got to say not bad haha.I know this girls a dick and shes a nightmare etc tbh if id met her in May id have been thinking gf material and now im thinking of use and abusing her as much as i want and kicking her out of my flat asap after.Just think as she dont work or have many friends i could txt her now saying "get over here my cock wont suck itself" and she would be here or if she complained id be like if ur not quick about it ill jizz in ur eye 2!! ive never had that kinda power to just do anything i want with a woman before,im reluctant to give that up right now!!
So i texted Phantom im meeting her at 7pm on saturday dno what to do for a date tho:S im pretty broke so wanna keep it cheap but different thinking camping at home haha and be really creative and throw a sheet over my couches as a tent, tie some twigs round my lava lamp as a camp fire etc just for a laugh.

So question

This is my first "date" in years how do i get in state or raise my state before meet a chick?? i dont fancy going in cold again after saturday:S

Thoughts
I think im gona get a p45 from my work for christmas worry my arse of about it constantly,got quite high bills and it seems everytime i plan on making a commitment to training and buying all the protein shakes and gym enrolement theres a bump in the road so that i cant do it its bloody annoying.Now i have to save as best i can incase i get made redundant.
That guy thats been single 10yrs stood me up friday,i shook my head about it.I then spoke to him again today and he insisted he had debt to clear first.In the end think i finally broke through to him.He says he will meet me for a chin wag this week we shall see??
I dont seem to be a very aggressive guy:s I never have been and i want to be a bit more (even with regular mma training).Obviously in a controlled manner but i dont seem to have 2 much plus although im getting laid more than ever i still seem/feel like i have a low sex drive?? maybe i need to see a doctor??
Still i dont feel like im funny enough like a lot of my talk is still 2 generic,i want to be funnier and have the better conversation skills its starting to do my head in now,still struggling with this after quite a few months now:s
I also seem to have the same block as a lot of guys do,i can do fine with birds upto about hb6 i really dont care 2 much etc as soon as they get a bit hotter like wid Phantom boom the brain goes into melt down im more bothered about losing/gaining them and well i bloody fudge it dont i :S