Quote:
Originally Posted by Snake Eyes
Nice post Phil. Very relevant to my weekend. I've had this both sides.
On Friday I pulled a girl and she kept on mentioning this other girl who I'd been flirting with. She came across as needy and jealous. How did I react, it made me fancy the other girl more and I went and pulled her instead (both I work with btw in a small office, awkward Monday coming!!). By pulling I mean just kissing with these 2.
Last night I'm out with girl number 2 and a few others. Some guy who she fancies joins us and she is all over him and not even giving me the tie of day. Difficult situation and nothing I can do to stop it really. I'm understandably jealous, but try not to show it. The guys invite us back to theirs. Now I'm not going to sit there and watch a girl I quite like end up in bed with some dive instructor dude (god how's that for island stereotype), so I excuse myself and leave.
Yeah so girl number 1 did both of these. She is hot and I did previously fancy her, but it killed it for me this. How else could she have reacted though? I was hot on the other girl to be honest and she can't just ignore that. Maybe she should have just said, right he's dicking me about here, I'm just going to have fun with someone else. I would have been more inclined to chase her then most likely.
Me, I didn't really do point a), but I was not acting myself for sure. I was very quiet and anyone with an ounce of social awareness would probably realise upset. I will take this on board though and not question if she fucked him or not. Second point is harder. How can I not act differently? Our rapport previously was based on flirting and mutual attraction. Now, that's lost our social relationship is different. I can't just not see her as I see these people every day, such a small island! I can't ignore her as then I'm reacting to my own jealousy again which is needy. Difficult one, any advice would be appreciated?
Ps I am aware I got a taste of my own medicine a bit here, so maybe deserved this!
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its difficult in a small situation like tha.
personally i dont think a tast eof your own medicine applies, if someone acts in a way thats unattractive, then thats their problem & isnt your job to try & keep attracted to them.
regarding her being all over a lad while ur there. That should instantly be a case of
ye i like her... but... not anymore because she clearly isnt a decent girl anyway. unless nothing goin on between u 2 in which case i dont understand how your gettin jealous.
here is the thing, jealousy is gonna pop up in some places.
here is a story
my friend was meeting a girl who he really liked but then she started to become a little whiney bitch
he let her go 2 months ago & recently is starting tosay how he wants to find a bird.
last night she text him "u out" then at 3 am "YOUR SHIT"
then he replied at 8 am when he woke up
"thanks for that, GOOD NIGHT"
which was a clear indicator he was willing to open that as an option again, to which he got these messages
"Ye, Fine" (blunt)
the few mins later
"why did u just fuck me off, you wer my mate and then all of a sudden just left me hight and dry, you wer out of order"
UH OH.... and there it is.... killed it off again in a heart beat.
had she been cool... they would been back on... because time changes perceptions
This is one of the most important lessons ive learned which allows me to just let go of shit like this.
peoples bad feeling about you, or your appearance of weakness disappear after time... and based on how long u drag it on, is how long it takes for it to go.
so if you act in a certain way, and think FUCK i looked daft there... instead of letting it spiral and doin more stupid shit and digging a hole, let it go.
cut the chord for a few days, let other shit pass... then continue as normal. and u get a clean slate.
ive had girls do this to me, make me cringe so bad, then a weeks or months laterr im like, ah she wernt so bad. But at the time was like EEEEWWW CRINGE.
nothin lasts forever, this also applies for appearing bad in somones eyes.
so if yur ever caught out acting weak, just learn that the best way to reclaim that stance of normality, is just give space untill its forgotten.
few days is usually fine for somethin trivial. teaches u also to be willing to walk away from bad stuff