Originally Posted by CovertOperation

Phil is it not just a natural response to being with a girl for 8 months, that you'll begin to have an emotional stake in her, and therefore from time to time you're going to scrutinise things a little more intensely than you really need too?

I'm sure all guys do it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Neediness comes in various shapes and sizes. We rightly slam it in the field of picking up girls - showing neediness when trying to attract a girl is a one-way ticket to Rejectionville (on the A6, just past Buxton. Twinned with Kiev).

Pick up preaches that you shouldn't show neediness when trying to pick a girl up, because it serves no function. If a girl rejects you, then get over it and try again with a different one. It doesn't matter, and you shouldn't care. Being needy militates against this approach. Understanding you've got nothing to lose is a key plank of developing the skills needed to have success with women.

But, once you've been with the same girl for a little while, then the terms change. You do have something to lose. This increased emotional stake is natural, surely? There's a saying in poker, which goes, 'Don't marry your hand'. That's because amateur poker players will continue to pursue a poor hand simply because they've already put a lot of money into the pot, and feel they have a greater stake in its outcome, no matter how improbably it is they'll triumph. Successful poker players have learned that, regardless of what's been put into a hand, as soon as they're not convinced they'll win it, they'll get out before they end up pushing all their chips in. The key isn't that they do this regularly, but that they have the ability to do it if needed.

And, I guess its the same with girls. Don't marry your hand (and definitely don't marry a girl!). If you're onto a winner, then its cool to push on and put more into the pot. But always know you can walk away at any point.

Sorry, I'm hungover, this is the sort of shit I come out with when in such a state!