Quote:
Originally Posted by GenePoole
I don't know what the longest LTR you've been in is but every LTR goes through some bad periods. From your point of view, she will take that as an immediate signal to go to her backup.
I don't think that's necessarily true, some girls stay in contact with exes for a variety of reasons. I actually feel it's more of a lack of respect because the exes might do something again given chance but I realise this isn't always the case either.
Basically, it comes down to whether you appreciate having backups hanging around regardless of whether you are better than them or not.
I personally do not keep backups so why should my partner.
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EVERY Girl has back ups...And always will. Some men have 'options'. But there is a difference. We have to work to set up and maintain our options while any girl at any time has any number of back ups on hand.
-The guy that changes the oil on her car is a back up.
-The guy she used to work with is a back up.
-The guy she works with right now is a back up.
-The guy that works in the sandwich place she always goes to is a back up.
-The guy that hits on her on the tube first thing in the morning is a back up.
...and ANY ex is also a back up.
A women is ALWAYS gonna have back ups. The thing is she (half the time) won't even think of them as back ups or call them back ups or acknowledge what they are...but the second you give her a reason to, she'll dial one up tell him she's having 'problems' with 'you', and needs 'a friend' she can 'just talk' to over 'just a coffee'...
And if he's anything other than a bed wetter i'll know he's basically 'in' home free. All he needs to do is play the
'sounds like you could do with just getting your mind off all this shit...' line... and he'll get a nasty angry sweaty fuck out of the deal... And she'll probably thank him for it too. And tell him it was 'just what I needed'.
Next morning she'll claim it was just a 'big mistake' and he should 'forget' that it happened...at which point the ball is basically in HIS court. He can give her whatever you didn't (support/adventure/trust/security etc) and steal her off you, he can play his cards close to his chest and hang back and let your insecurites keep getting him laid with your missus.
Don't let your insecurites put another guy clean through on goal. Don't worry about what people are gonna do to steal her, worry about making sure she'd be a fool to let them.