Made the cross-London trek last night to meet up with Giant - cool guy, seems to be on the right path.
Started off in a pub, we're just chatting about life and other shit. There are a couple of pairs of girls around, but we're happy just to chill.
Move on to the next venue, whilst we're outside I open a pair of Spanish chicks, we get some good conversation going then they go back inside. Nice warm-up, feel a bit better now.
Whilst walking down the road Giant starts talking to 2 girls....they actually did a backturn to come and talk to him! Nice. So we are all chatting, one is a redhead and is not bad (7) so I try to zone in on her. Looking back, I think I was trying too hard for rapport rather than saying what was on my mind and that kinda staled the conversation out.
They tell us we should come along to Proud, and we go as we weren't too sure where to go. Lengthy queue, but eventually we get in. Whilst inside we wait for Giant for about 5 minutes, then they say they're heading off to the bar. Check outside and Giant is not there, then check my phone and get a text saying 'ID fail!' Daaamn.....
So now I have to make a decision, (1) go home or (2) fly solo. Having already paid, I opt for (2).
So this is how the rest of the night went:
1) Couldn't find the cloakroom, so asked a mixed set of 3 where it was. This turned into a 5 minute conversation with me telling them the story of my night.
THEN.......
The fear started to take over.
Loud music, a LOT of hotties, big club. Anxiety started to set in, the mind started giving me all kinds of reasons not to approach. I sat down to regain some kind of composure. After 10 minutes of choding about, I just thought 'keep it real' rather than creating imaginary scenarios. Let's do this....
2) Group of 3 girls - 'Is this the best club in Camden' opener. Almost immediately the HB8 grabs my glasses and wears them, and then we start dancing together. I feign blindness. The interaction ends with a kiss on the lips. Reality 1, Mind 0.
3) Open a group of 8 dancing women with the same lame opener. For those scared of approaching large groups - the group normally breaks down into a smaller group anyway, making it easier to engage them. I correctly guess they are a 'middle-class hen party'.
4) Pair of dancing girls - 'I Love your energy!' They bring me into their photo.
5) Blonde perched on sofa - ask about her tattoo, bit of misinterpretation, banter with her a little bit about being married.
6) Group of 3 'oldies' - I end up vibing with these women for most of the night. We were just messing around on the dancefloor, I got chatting a bit more to one of them as she had a cute look to her. So we're dancing on and off, however I'm conscious of just becoming the 'dancing partner' for the night so throw a couple of intent signals into the mix. Didn't really seem to be going anywhere....but never assume.
Towards the end of the night she says that she is leaving in a bit, I say I'm leaving now anyway and tell her that we should exchange numbers. Put the number in my phone, goodbye hug then BOOM! Makeout. Not a long one, but enough to let me know that this would be a solid number close judging by the smile on her face. And with that I departed.
What was learned
------------------
1) I NEED TO GO OUT MORE.
Going out + Approaching = Progress.
I hadn't been out properly for a couple of weeks, and the rustiness was evident. I excused myself from going out on Friday because I was 'tired'. I need to stop with these lame excuses
2) The mind gives you all kinds of fucked up scenarios......
99% of which turn out to be false. It comes from a place of low value - 'I will run out of things to say, they will not like me etc.' More practice = Less fear = Better results.
For Giant: at one point you said you felt awkward and I think I know why...we weren't really relaxed. Hopefully we'll go out again sometime and have an awesome night....and don't forget your ID!
