The Americans

Near my hometown is a place called Harlaxton Manor - the filming location of The Haunting, and now the English campus of the University of Evansville, Indiana. This means that three times a year, we get a batch of American students invading our quiet little market town. The upside is, they're easy as fuck to pull.

I gained favour with one group by marching over and saying, "are you guys American?!" The subsequent conversation got four chicks flocking to my table, and then onwards, with me and my friend, to a club.

In there I pulled a girl called Maggie (average at best) and her friend Hope (a lot better!). At the same time. Had it not been for the Manor's stupid rules, and the girls' insistence upon obeying them, a threesome was on the cards.

The next week, I was introduced to another girl (Christ knows what her name was), who was the prettiest of the lot, and of course pulled her. However, upon me telling her I wanted to do naughty things to her, she said "just so you know, I'm not having sex with you".

Spiffing. "I'm just off to the bar, back in a bit..."

It should be mentioned that whilst this was going on, my friend pulled a black mama by the name of Britney, who was so keen on him, she literally threw herself at him. To the point where he crashed through the fire doors and earned a look of pure admiration from the bouncers. It also enabled us to make the joke "I'd fuckin' smash her fire doors in!"

There'll be some more coming in a couple of weeks.