Out of utter, utter boredom (my mates have gone camping and left me on my todd), I've decided to put up a couple of funny girl-related stories from the past couple of years and give you a peek into the world of Blanca.

Ashley

In return for failing one of my exams, I was unceremoniously booted off the dentistry course whilst at university. I was not happy, and had several temper tantrums, spat the dummy out, threw my toys out the pram and generally got really pissed off (in my defence, I failed by 1%). Surprisingly, however, I was not the only one who was pissed off by this - it seemed that the dentists, amongst whom I was quite popular anyway, were even more cross and so, when I went along to help them initiate a new batch of first years, they pretty much mobbed me.

"Mate I can't believe what they did - it's fucking unacceptable"
"We've been to see [Dean of first year BDS] and tell him what we think"
"It's not going to be the same without you on the course"

Not only was this touching, it also meant practically the entire bar wanted to talk to me, hug me and buy me drinks, and so I obliged, happy at having my ego stroked and all the attention directed at me.

Inevitably, this attracted some female attention, firstly in the shape of Carolyn. Who is fit. She cornered me outside and we chatted about stuff, mostly about me no longer being a part of the dental family:

Carolyn: I can't believe you're not going to be with us
Blanca: Yeah I'm going to miss you guys, we've had a lot of laughs together
C: I've really missed you over the summer Alex, like loads. I mean, I know the others say they've missed you, but no one can miss you as much as I have

At this point it was time to go to Lounge (my favourite rugby-player-infested place in the entire world). When we got there, Ashley (another girl who is fit - easily in the top 5 of my year) dropped a huge bomb:

Ashley: Alex what are you doing after this?
B: Dunno, probably just going home, why?
A: Well, do you want to walk me back to mine?

Now, I don't do well with subtlety, but even I got this one. If it were a cartoon, there'd be dollar signs in my eyes.

B: Oh sure, I'll come get you when I'm ready to go

Buoyed by this turn of events, I went of with some of the dental lads and did my thing all night - mostly involving drinking and dancing. During the course of events I was outside, having a breather and talking to Carolyn about how she wasn't sure if she was still in love with her ex. Yawn. My friend Mark intervened at this point, to ask if I'd seen Ashley. Somewhere in the conversation, I said I was walking her home, at which point he said he was sure she was going back to some other girl's house because it was closer.

No biggie, I figured - I'd just find her and ask what she wanted to do. So, when I was suitably fed up, that's what I did. Now I should explain, Lounge is not a big club. It is two parallel rooms the size of very small function rooms, with a joining bit in the middle. Could I find Ashley in this broom cupboard? Not even after looking for 30 minutes. Pissed off that she'd ditched me, I stomped off home.

Anyone who knows me can just tell what's coming next. I got to the chip shop in Clifton Village (about 10 minutes from Lounge and 5 from home) and my phone rang. No prizes for guessing who it was and what she wanted to ask me:

A: Alex where are you? You still walking me home?

I told her what had happened, and said I'd walk back and meet her, but it was no good. She'd left the club 10 minutes after me, and had no intention of staying with Jane. Lady Luck intervention meant I'd blown a chance to fuck one of the fittest girls in my year.

The next day, Carolyn got back with her boyfriend.