Chops, I couldn't give a shit about being respected by anyone that thinks it's acceptable to fuck with anyone else's relationship.

I also think that you're misrepresenting the quote by taking it so far out of context. The self righteous aren't respected because they believe themselves to be infallible, that's what self righteousness is.

I am not self righteous as I do not believe myself to be infallible. I've been demonstrably judgemental though, it's important to note that I look down particularly on the behaviours, not generally the people. I find talk on forums to be interestingly unreliable as a judgement of who a person is or whether I would like that person offline. I think it's a complete dick thing to do but does that mean I think someone is a dick? No it does not.

I've mentioned to Kowalski before that I try not to build opinions of people based on their forum usage. People are often completely different to the way you think they are in your head after interacting mainly in an online environment.

Telling him last minute was to ensure that Phil didn't think less of her for being a cheat. Many people test the thoughts of those around them before they act themselves in order to see if people will think worse of them or not. If Phil had shown he viewed it as a bad thing she would have adamantly been faithful to her partner and think cheating is disgusting so that she aligned herself with things that Phil believes and likes. Telling him last minute was very wrong and manipulative, I agree with you.

The fact that she did something wrong however doesn't matter at all.