Quote:
Originally Posted by Refl3x
So how do you as a boyfriend in your mind distinguish between a girlfriend that tells you she was drunk and cant remember what happened but you know she slept with a guy-- she cant remember if she was raped, -- how will you ever know what the truth is.
I think its easy to have a certain mindset in certain situations and feel very resolute as to how you feel and would deal with things-- but once those things actually come to pass a very different chain of events ands feelings come into play.
with my ex of 10 years i trusted her absolutly, i always thought that if she left me or did actually cheat on me i wouldnt be too bothered because i knew it wasnt right between us.
It was me that actually finalised the destruction of that relationship and at the moment there was no going back and it was finally over -- i actually realised truly what real love and a soul mate was-- i was absolutly destroyed at what i had done to her, it changed me massively and its took me 2 years to get myself together and i dont actually think i will ever be over it.
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The truth is irrelevant. If someone tells you they were raped you believe them until you know otherwise.
Whether it's true or not is irrelevant anyway. She's likely done stuff with the guy before she got to that stage of drunkness. That's easy to find out, she can fuck off based on that opposed to whether it was rape or not. If she hadn't done anything with the guy before getting that wasted then it was certainly rape. Either way there would be witnesses to her behaviour earlier on.
I don't disagree with anything else you say, breakups hurt, I'm not contesting that at all. You realise that being afraid of losing someone is ridiculous when you realise that losing them is the right thing to happen under any circumstances, other than bereavement. Sure, it hurts, but it's a good thing.