So how do you as a boyfriend in your mind distinguish between a girlfriend that tells you she was drunk and cant remember what happened but you know she slept with a guy-- she cant remember if she was raped, -- how will you ever know what the truth is.

I think its easy to have a certain mindset in certain situations and feel very resolute as to how you feel and would deal with things-- but once those things actually come to pass a very different chain of events ands feelings come into play.

with my ex of 10 years i trusted her absolutly, i always thought that if she left me or did actually cheat on me i wouldnt be too bothered because i knew it wasnt right between us.
It was me that actually finalised the destruction of that relationship and at the moment there was no going back and it was finally over -- i actually realised truly what real love and a soul mate was-- i was absolutly destroyed at what i had done to her, it changed me massively and its took me 2 years to get myself together and i dont actually think i will ever be over it.