I think Cas is right, if you want me to be true to myself and not be fake I shouldn't really be saying: "Hey tonight i'm fucking you" (8)

And why would she realize i had been planning this for two weeks in advance? I mean, I wouldnt tel her...

Maybe the best thing would be to go "mid way" half planned and half impro, so i'm more relaxed and less worried about the outcome?

I just cant picture myself saying: "Lets go upstairs and I'll fuck you". There's may other friends and the party and if they slap me or others hear me.... nah I just can't.