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It sounds like you are blaming yourself for your exe's shitty behaviour.
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Hmmm... no... there's more a back story to it. But this part of the story is most relevant. I don't blame myself but...
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The jealousy thing can be traced to your childhood.
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Completely disagree. 1) I was called the Golden boy as I grew up. 2) Not sure you can blame it on genetics.
For me it was a more of a lacking of maturity / life experience. When you love someone, you can easily lose sight of the bigger picture. You hold them so close to you that can't even comprehend their complicated mass of self issues / learned social interactions / emotionally fueled frenzies! On top of that, the drink induced 'English' applied to the equation.
Ultimately, respect yourself and respect others... then breathe.
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Most jealousy comes from insecurity.
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Insecurity that stems in your belief that there's no need to be insecure (in your relationship - or yourself!). And that ultimately... you'll always be alright.