Originally Posted by Blanca

This thread may meander somewhat - not because the concepts are half-baked but because I haven't quite put them in order in my head yet. Anywho, try and keep up and here we go.

It has been suggested that attraction is caused by value. People are attracted to people of value - men are attracted to women with nice tits, child-bearing hips and a slender, young figure; women to men who command the reactions, attention and control of a group. These values have been imposed by many millions of years of evolutionary biology to ensure the survival and advancement of the species. They explain why I was attracted to my not-especially-pretty friend, and why we occasionally see beautiful women with fat, ugly men. These "rules" have always been here and will continue to be here for as long as we survive.

However, it is my belief that a second value system is elbowing its way into the fray. At times competing with evolutionary biology, at others working with it synergistically. This value system is Social Conditioning.

I would like to think that many of us in this corner of the community are outgrowing, or have outgrown social conditioning. We have our own values, our own way of doing things and our own personalities and don't need to be told how to do things by Hugh Grant films, magazines, music and newspapers. You could say we are unplugged from the matrix - waking up to the idea that the world is not out to make us happy. It is out to make us unhappy, because the best consumer is an unhappy one looking to fill a void in their life.

That's us. We make friends easily because of our magnetic personalities, have fun lives because we do what we enjoy, and most of all we are happy and free. Lovely. However (and here comes something controversial), I'd wager that I could count the number of people on here who go out and regularly and frequently pull beautiful women on one hand. Most of us (myself included), whilst having some success, aren't achieving anything like rock-star levels of pulling. Even Phil (whose "far-fetched" stories I believe) would say he only pulls (and converts) a genuine hotty once a blue moon. Why should this be for such a group of awesome individuals? The answer is:

Most people are not unplugged from the matrix.

Do you really think that people out there actually realise what we realise? Some of the cleverest people I've met are still completely invested in the ideals that social conditioning has taught them - "it's possible to look as good as the airbrushed model on the cover of Vogue", "all you need to do to get the girl of your dreams is be there for her", "buying this sofa in the DFS Sale will mean you have a happy family and a happy life", "your Prince Charming is just around the corner".

This same model is competing with evolutionary biology. Men are told Jessica Alba is the hottest woman in the world - something I only realised I disagree with a few months ago. We are told if a woman isn't as pretty as Kelly Brook we shouldn't be interested, never mind the fact that from an evolutionary point of view we don't give a shit about a girl's face. We are told that real men wear Calvin Klein boxers and look like the bloke on the box, and guess what? We've started believing it. Ever wonder why guys are packed into gyms or on diets or getting highlights done? We believe it so strongly because everyone else does too.

Let's take women - from whatever age they pick up Vogue/Grazia/Elle, they have it rammed home to them that the most attractive men have a six-pack, pecs and are the epitome of the chiselled jawline. Real men, they are told, play rugby, work out all the time and are the sort of people who are so handsome it's enough to make you sick. And guess what? Women have started to believe it too. What's more, the hottest ones realise they can realistically expect it from a chap - they can afford to be that picky. Not only this, but society builds into women the idea that the absolutely must not, under any circumstance, obey their sexual desires and have one-night stands. Girls who do this are slappers, hussies and whores. Now where's that thread on hot girls having one-night stands?

Clearly something must be done (and this is where my thinking becomes half-baked and you guys come in). The way I see it, we have 2 criteria to fulfill - being attractive from the view of evolution, and being attractive from the view of social conditioning. However, since this would mean getting ripped and weaing CK/Boss/Armani for other peoples' approval (a lame and needy thing to do), I can only conclude we must make ourselves so awesome that we bypass social conditioning entirely. No mean feat when we consider 95%+ of the population is completely sold on it, and opting out of it, they are told, will result in unhappiness and dispair.

Let's hear your thoughts anyways. Has anyone here noticed the mathematically inevitable surge in success with the hotties associated with their reality finally tipping the see-saw against social conditioning?

Discuss!