Take a personality profiling questionnaire to get an insight into 'who you are' (taken with a pinch of salt) Most of us lean more toward introversion or extroversion. I am and will always lean toward introversion I do not feel a need or desire to be 'the life and soul of the party' I am cool just being chill and being a man of few words. Like you Camarda I felt I had to be more 'outgoing' and 'confident' but these are subjective and ambiguous terms.

I feel I am outgoing in that I like to experience new things, socialise and meet new people I enjoy this if I didn't i'd be agoraphophic. I do not feel I need to go into 'entertainer' mode or lead a group of people when im out, I like to leave that to other people for whom that role is more natural.

There are advantages and disadvantages to being introvert and extrovert. Like me, many introverts can feel exhaustion when in the company of others for extended periods of time prefering some respite and solititude. Others who tend to be extrovert need to have people around them all the time otherwise they feel down and lonely quite easily.

People who force themselves to be more 'outgoing' and extroverted often clown it up to the point it gets annoying. But like you say Camarda I think self-acceptance is the most important thing, this forms a foundation for your confidence.

According to Matt Hussey, Confidence tends to comes in 3 forms, the surface level, how you speak act and interact with others, mid-level confidence derived from your job, your social group, the acquisitition of material possessions etc and most importantly your core confidence with comes from your core values and how you treat and percieve yourself. The surface level is easy to fake, you see this all the time whilst the core confidence is a weak foundation, it doesn't take much for their whole confidence structure to fall like a house of playing cards.

Ask women this, last week I spoke to a women who I percieved to be extremely confident, I complimented her on this but she told me it is all an act whereas in actual fact she doesnt value her self that highly and thought when guys approached her to talk to her it was some kind of joke on her! And this was an attractive women.

To quote Ferris Bueller 'A man shouldn't believe in any 'isms' he should believe in himself'