Seagulling - hiding in a wardrobe when other people are having sex while masturbating, when you're about to blow. Jump out, shout "BACCAWWW!!" As you spray all over them then run away flapping your arms.

I can relate to the house story, when I was younger at a house party some girls arranged to 'teach me a lesson' by getting the hottest girl there to pull me in front of everyone then slap me. Thankfully I have the attention span of a hummingbird on speed and left immediately when she told me she was into R Kelly and wouldn't fellate me within 10 minutes of putting up with her mouth diarrhoea that barely passed as conversation.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or in our cases, insecure, funsucking banshees.