Quote:
Originally Posted by kowalski
Touching is essential because sex is a contact sport, and the sooner you start the more normal it is, like (I think it was) Overt was saying recently, you set the boundaries of the relationship. Moving those boundaries is difficult once they've been established, which happens in the first few seconds, it is much easier to set them up right in the first place.
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T'was:
Setting Positive Boundaries. This applies as much for conversational gymnastics as it does for kino and physical contact. If you set a boundary early on where you show a girl you don't give a fuck what you say or what she thinks, she'll reciprocate.
And similarly, if you're very nice and sweet and polite, she'll be nice and sweet and polite. But this doesn't get you very far in terms of building comfort.
I will often happily (but playfully) tell a girl to fuck off early on. This is setting another boundary - 'I'm comfortable enough with you to treat you like I've known you for years'.
But you're dead right K, it applies first and foremost to Kino. Get it down in the first few seconds of an interaction - leave it any longer, and those boundaries get entrenched, and become difficult to move.
In my last FR, I mentioned how I was in a set, but failed to get those boundaries set early on. I was hesitant with my touches, light brushes on her arm and a gentle, softly softly approach. When I tried to escelate 10 minutes later by putting my hand more forcefully on her back, she noticed, and she actually said the words 'don't touch me' and visibly reeled back. The boundaries I'd set were cautious and suggested a lack of comfort. When I broke those boundaries, she objected and resisted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeybuster
I had a revelation about this kind of set and time delays; where you will get chatting to a girl/group of girls, have your funny, banterish conversation, leave (must be high energy), inject a short time delay and later on, meet up again; That time delay seems to amplify the familiarity between you. If you leave the set on a high energy eject (“OMG! I love this song! I going to shake my booty! Catch up later!”) it's easy to hook up later with a greater level of 'connection'.
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Any set you open is one you can re-enter later on. I don't even think you need to leave the set high energy. Once you've spoken to a girl or group of girls, you have a relationship with them. You are well within your rights to re-open this group later on.
You can eject from a set by saying anything, regardless of energy 'Well, I'm going to get back to my friends. See you later'... And then re-enter 20 minutes later with 'Miss me?'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeybuster
The main set I opened was a cute HB8 at some semi busy bar at the top end of Bristol. She was at the bar, and I got my usual nervous feeling. I was going to open up with a bit of Canned... when suddenly... I the words “Hey! How are you!” came flying out my mouth. (Did Kowalski take over my voice box?).
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Top class man! Absolutely top class! Like you said in a post recently, we're in similar places with our respective games. You're doing well man!
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeybuster
After I grind for a bit, spank her booty, “Time of your life” lift... I've realised there's nowhere else you can go with continuing dancing with her. Next time I'm going to try getting straight in for the kiss close... then isolating. What's your guys thoughts on that?
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Dance floor game seems to me to be tricky. Personally, its something I want to get a handle on as so much time on a night out is spent on a dance floor.
The approach you describe above requires you to maintain a high level of energy throughout. You'd need to transition from a 'dancing wildly' vibe to an 'I am now going to kiss you' vibe. That can be immensely complex, and again has the potential to bring the energy down, unless that transition is made in a split second.
First rules for dance floor game are to have fun on your own terms, and become comfortable. Be sociable. Make it normal to dance with other people. And from there... Well, I'll let you know when I get there!
On the whole though, MB, cracking report, brought a big smile to my face reading that! You're making really good progress mate, can't wait to wing with you soon man!
