Jaz's words are spot on, that girls should only be one aspect of your night and not the overall meaning of your night. If you go out, don't meet any girls, but have a great time with your friends - then so what, you still had a great time with your friends!

Oddly, this is also going to directly impact your level of success. Which guys on a dance floor don't get any success? Its the ones standing around, looking around at all the girls, waiting for something to happen. Bless 'em, we've all been there!

Which ones are having success? The ones who are just having a good time, who are complete already, who don't require the attention of a girl to bring their night up to an acceptable level.

Neediness is perhaps the most unattractive trait of any man (with the obvious exceptions of bad breath, long dirty nails, and being an Everton fan). By making girls a fundamental part of your night and demonstrating this through your actions, you make yourself needy. You make it clear that you need a girl to complete your night. Its actually counter productive, and will do plenty to put girls off.

And something else I've come to realise recently (and was the subject of a lenthy post in my field reports thread) - pick up is only one aspect of your life. Recently, I was starting to feel a little bogged down, not just in pick up but in things generally. I felt like I was trudging from day to day, set to set, no direction of travel or progress on the horizon. So, I sat myself down and set myself a small number of goals, long term and short term. And I started to take action to move myself towards those goals.

Learn to think holistically. Pick up is only one part of a much greater whole. It cannot define you. Girls cannot provide you with everything you need. They will satisfy certain needs, and God knows we need them satisfying, otherwise we wouldn't work as hard as we do to handle this part of our lives. But make sure the rest of your life isn't neglected as a result.

I firmly believe you will enjoy more success with girls when you come from a place in life where you are completely comfortable with yourself, who you are, what you think. I'm still working this bit of it out, but I'm well on the way. Further, I've come to believe that true self worth - that sense of inner completeness that we all chase - cannot come from external sources. Fine, sort out your flat, car, clothes, job, women, and everything else. They're important things. But understand that none of them will truly help you become complete. That comes from somewhere much deeper.

Like I say, I'm still working all that shit out. But when I get there, I'll find myself in ways I perhaps never thought possible.