Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebus
This one stood out as I REALLY had to work at convincing her to come back to mine.
...
In a non-threatening cheeky and very calm, non-rushed way, I just REFUSED to take no for an answer!
This did not come across as desperate (AFC) as this chick was already very into me, we had been kissing, had a sexual vibe, so well.... why hang back?
I went into salesman mode.
This was an epic battle of wills over ten minutes...
Over the course, from her comments here and there, she was concerned about:
a) being on time for leaving my place to catch her flight EARLY the next day (knowing where the hell she was / having stuff in hostel room packed for flight / leaving on time)
b) didn't know London / being in a strange place and safety (I couldn't go to where THEY were staying, as it was a hostel with the big shared rooms)
c) what her friend would think
So, really, it was getting past all her practical objections in a LOGICAL way, while also amping up the SENSUAL part. The sensual part included....
1. just how great the f*cking would be ---- (whispering all this stuff in her ear, including how she'd feel)
2. how much she deserves it / "you deserve it" (as she'd broken up from some guy recently and had been upset)
3. just how great the f*cking would be ---- (whispering all this stuff in her ear, including how she'd feel)
4. "i know we'd be good together" + hold the eye contact
5. "we only have tonight!"
Rebus
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It sounds like you handled this pretty well. But I don't think you necessarily have to work as hard as this. Remember:
You set the boundaries.
Points a., b. and c. of your post, her initial resistance and reasons for not wanting to go back to yours, are just expressions of her slut shield - the defence mechanism most girls have which allows them to maintain the frame 'I am not a slut'.
The way to get round this is to
lead in everything you do with her. You shouldn't have to convince a girl to come home with you. You should lead her to a situation where she'll be back at yours whilst sidestepping her slut defence.
So, after a while, you decide its time to take her home. You take her hand and lead her from the club.
HB: Where are we going?
PUA: I'm going to treat you to a cup of my delicious popcorn tea.
HB: I have to pack, I gotta fly tomorrow.
PUA: Yeah you do! You're such a doofus for bringing so much stuff travelling. How do you take your tea by the way?
HB: I'm not sure, I don't know where we're going.
PUA: We're going to this really flashy, amazing, trendy part of the city called Brixton. I'll show you where the riots were a few years ago - that was a blast.
HB: But my friend...
PUA: Ok, well I guess she can come too, but she shouldn't expect my buddy to let her smooch him, he's a top feller.
HB: You know I don't do one night stands...
PUA: Sex? Ew, what do you take me for?! That's disgusting. If you weren't so moody I'd banish you right now.
And so on. Lead, show her the way, and 90% of the time she'll follow. Think of the psychology of it: when she is led, she can follow, and it isn't her decision. Hence, she's not a slut.
When you say 'So, you wanna come back to my place?', that asks her to make a decision. And her decision will have consequences for her self perceptions. Don't make her make that decision. Make it for her.