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Aquilaruspante Aquilaruspante is offline
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Default 22-11-2020, 10:46 AM

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In any sense that you have to, should, can, or whatever adjust to a person based on such a broad concept as nationality... No, don't be ridiculous.

If that would work on you, then you need to address that about yourself. If all I need to know about you is where you are from and then I can know how to treat you to get what I want from you etc, you are sleepwalking through life.

There isn't English girl game and French girl game and Russian girl game. Just like there isn't waitress game or school teacher game or coffee shop game or supermarket queue game. Unless you are going to a nation where girls aren't really allowed in bars and alcohol consumption in general is not common, women are totally oppressed and often aren't even allowed outside (e.g. Muslim countries) then there's no real difference... and if you meet a girl from one of those places in another country all of that goes away. But, if you go to one of those places trying to get laid, that's on you.

So, getting back to real nations that have decent higiene ... It's just as easy to fuck an Italian girl as it is to fuck any other nation girl. The chances she will want something long term are the same. Everything is the same.

If anyone has found it different, that was largely situational. You are English trying to fuck English girls all your life, they fuck English boys all their life. You aren't automatically special. A foreign is automatically special, that will sometimes mean they like you and sometimes they hate you or anything in between. But whatever it is, you are special in that situation. Second, one of you is most likely on holiday, a work trip or an immigrant. These situations make a difference, in the first two there's no guilt because no one will know (this is important to girls). In the first and last, they likely have some attraction to your country and culture which often includes an attraction to the men of that country and culture. Next up, there is likely a language barrier (even where you are both official fluent in each others language, it is never the same) so, if there's attraction, you can get away with verbal gaffes, silences are excused, you communicate more with looks and touches, if there isn't attraction all of that will be negative... so you aren't even being the same person you normally are when chatting a English girl. None of this has anything to do with continental girls being easier, which they aren't.

Whatever any of you think you have noticed about girls of different nations and their propensity to have a one night stand with you is built up from those and similar factors which will be negative or positive depending on the specific people and the moment, plus the fact that you've not had enough one night stands with enough girls from enough nations to have enough data to state that, especially given all those factors and more which none of you are taking into account... plus the fact that most of you sucked at getting laid for a good portion of your lives hence you are here.

Getting laid is largely about individuals, emotions and opportunities.


Peace,

kowalski
i just noticed your reply now @kowalski, i wasn't ignoring you on purpose.

What you say makes perfect sense if we speak about seduction. There might be slight differences even about that when we change the context but generally its rules are more or less constant.

The same doesn't apply to behaviours and which ones of them is acceptable or not. They change completely according to context. Many factors contribute to a context, like for example age, political ideas, the kind of people you hang out with, education, your past and last but absolutely not least culture.

To be honest from what I can tell based on my experience things are not just different here but an entire different planet and I'm not saying this depends just on culture but there are many are factors that makes a difference with the previous context like age or the fact that here I'm using dating apps which I never used in in italy.



To better understand each other I realize I have to be more clear cause from your replies I understand there has probably been a slight misunderstanding.

For the record I don't need to state soon that I'm not after anything serious but I do when (and that usually happens really soon) the conversation goes on that topic and I think it's only fair. I don't say "I'm only after sex" but rather "in this period I'd rather have something not too serious".

I think it's the case to bring some examples of real life facts that happened to me here and then compared to what happened to me in my previous life so we can understand each other better, then you can tell me if I have just been unlucky or if my experience here is the norm for all of you or if it is dating apps fault.

So these are some of the real life facts:

1) Last girl I macthed with on Bumble. 32 years old, on her bio said "I have a kid so I am after serious stuff". I thought "ok let's talk to her and see". After literally a caouple of days chatting she asked "have you ever dated anyone with a kid? are you good with kids?" and I replied, pretending I didn't understand "yes, I've done it and if you mean I'm ok with it when you ask if I'm good, yes I am". then she replied "no I was asking if you like to play with them, enjoy being a role model and stuff like that." and me "are you looking for a dad for you child? isn't it too early to ask about that? We haven't even met yet. I want to date normally and take things slowly as it should be and we could start talking about that only after it has became a serious relationship and we are planning to live together, anything before than that would be unfair to the kid as well". I replied only because i wanted too see where she wanted to take me, casue I understood her intentions really soon. however she replied that she was offended, cause the kid have a dad and she was only asking because the kid would have been around (can you imagine dating her with a kid around?). Yes, I'm sure that's what she meant.

2) A girl met on tinder on the first date asked me which religion did I belong to just in case we got married. ON THE FIRST DATE! Is it normal to think about marriage on a first date?

3) A collegue of mine in her early 20s was crying at work. When I asked why she replied that the guy she was dating started ghosting her after the 4th date and they talked about it and both wanted a serious relationship. COME ON!!!!! Very similar situation with another colleague, apparently it is very common that men start ghosting after a month long serious relationship here whereas in Italy the opposite is true, i.e. every relationship starts like a non serious one and some of them then evolve into a serious one but not all of them.

4) A friend of my friend was telling my friend how she was worried that she had problems with her boyfriend. They live together after 4 months dating and she was worried about a future together with these problems and how could have they have a family together. My anxiety when i was listening was growing to unprecedented levels in human history. Why do you live together with someone you know since 3 months and why are you even thinking about marriage so early and with a person you are obviously not compatible?

5) I work in a big hospital, one of the biggest in the UK and I have a lot of collegues from 20 to 60 years old. All the english are married or in a serious relationship and if they aren't it is a big problem that need to be fixed.

6) At work an italian collegue said she met her boyfriend on tinder and that at the beginning it wasn't meant to be anything serious. How refreshing those words sounded to me! And why i have never heard them coming from an english girl! i can't even imagine them coming from an English girl! They sounded like the most normal words to say because in our context that's the most normal thing to do and it doesn't mean you meet just for sex. it means you are both aware this is not evolving into something long term and you have not necessarily the exclusive on that person.

7) my housemate, italian 30 years old. He dates English women on tinder. He does what i don't want to do. He comes from a small town in italy and he says he's never met a woman who didn't want a serious relationship, so completely different context than me so he pretends he's after serious stuff then he dumps them. But even he who is used to it, complains some girls here want to rush too much into seriousness.

So to understand each other better these are a few examples to describe my normality here. If you think this is THE normality here not just my normality then I haven't been unlucky but just not compatible.

A few examples of real life facts of my previous life, when I lived in Italy:

1) A friend of mine. Woman. Italian. 33 years old. single. no children.
I was skyping with her last week and she said "I have been training so much over the last year for this competition I have that I haven't had time to meet anyone. As soon as I am done I will fuck the entire world (I can tell you she's not joking)".
2) a friend of mine. Woman. italian. 34 years old.
"I have got a flatmate which is so handsome in Barcelona. My sister came to visit me last week and she fucked him. Only that night tho and just cause he's handsome". She (my friend not her sister) told me as well that she was about to break up with her boyfriend cause there were too many problems. Meanwhile she slept with another man and since he apparently showed to be well intentioned after sex she might think about dating him. The way she said that showed that if the man would have been just after sex that would have been a ONS without any problem.
3) An italian woman, 30 years old hitting on me very hard for a month, after which since I wasn't doing anything, she asked if I wasn't interested. I clearly said I wasn't and she said "I am not necessarily asking for anything serious anyway".
Later we became friends and I introduced her to a man friend of man. They started a purely sexual relationship and she was bragging with me on how good she was to cause him an orgasm with her mouth whenever she wanted. At some point she broke up with him cause he told her this was pure hedonism and she felt like a slut (as you can see everyone as an anti-slut defense).
4) my flatmate one night fucked me and told me not to hope into anything more than that cause that was all she wanted.
5) An Italian 35 years old woman when I was 32 invited me at her place for dinner, we kissed and slept together. I said clearly I wasn't after anything serious and she said she didn't understood what was the problem. I kept sleeping with her for an year and a half asking her even for advice about other women I had affairs with.
6) female 30 friend of mine asks me to introduce her to my friend, man, 30 just cause she feels a partictular itchy about him. They started a sexual relationship that eventually evolved into something serious.


Both lists are a choice of random facts that describes my normality during my previous life and my normality here. The thing is that I keep meeting women that look like are not even interested in Eros, they just want to be married and buy blue stuff for the baby boys and pink stuff for the girls.

I wrote on this forum cause I need to compare my experience with yours and advice. Listing real life facts makes the problem more clear I hope and you can tell me whether I have just been unlucky or my normality here is everyone normality and in both cases you can give me advices on what to change or how to adapt.

I really find unethical giving false hopes to a girl i just want to fuck. It would make me feel so bad.


Quote:
Out of interest, are you only meeting women thru online and social circle/work? I would encourage you to at least try cold approaching, if you're not already doing so. It will open you up to a whole new pipeline.
@Dr_Zed Mainly dating apps and maybe that's part of the problem. I have been approaching girls in clubs with some success for a period but for some reasons I only managed to sleep with one girl, a Greek one. Only one of the girls I picked up in clubs was English. I met her 3 times and never had sex even if on hour 3rd date we were at her place alone watching a film.

But I am interested in cold approach more than you can imagine. It has always been a dream to be able to approach the hot girl you see at work or at the store. I am used to think it's bad. that it is like harassing people but I'm sure that done in the right way it is ok. So I want to know everyhting about it and how you do it!

And yes, I am overthinking it and I can't help it cause I apparently keep bumping on the same kind of woman.
I matched with a brazilian girl last week, 33 years old , no kids and I had a completely different feeling.
We were just chatting and sending vocal messages in a very relaxed way and I didn't overthink anything cause of the vibe she was giving me. Cause she sounded and looked like just a girl who wanted to date. No silly questions like "what are you looking for" or "why are you single". So refreshing! Just chatting and we even planned for a coffe together. Shame she ghosted me!

Cheers to anyone who replied or just read and sorry if I'm a pain but that's a serious problem for me that doesn't make me live well.

And sorry if I take my time to reply but I need to think and find the words cause it is a bit confusing to me sometimes.

Last edited by Aquilaruspante; 22-11-2020 at 12:01 PM.
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