In any sense that you have to, should, can, or whatever adjust to a person based on such a broad concept as nationality... No, don't be ridiculous.

If that would work on you, then you need to address that about yourself. If all I need to know about you is where you are from and then I can know how to treat you to get what I want from you etc, you are sleepwalking through life.

There isn't English girl game and French girl game and Russian girl game. Just like there isn't waitress game or school teacher game or coffee shop game or supermarket queue game. Unless you are going to a nation where girls aren't really allowed in bars and alcohol consumption in general is not common, women are totally oppressed and often aren't even allowed outside (e.g. Muslim countries) then there's no real difference... and if you meet a girl from one of those places in another country all of that goes away. But, if you go to one of those places trying to get laid, that's on you.

So, getting back to real nations that have decent higiene ... It's just as easy to fuck an Italian girl as it is to fuck any other nation girl. The chances she will want something long term are the same. Everything is the same.

If anyone has found it different, that was largely situational. You are English trying to fuck English girls all your life, they fuck English boys all their life. You aren't automatically special. A foreign is automatically special, that will sometimes mean they like you and sometimes they hate you or anything in between. But whatever it is, you are special in that situation. Second, one of you is most likely on holiday, a work trip or an immigrant. These situations make a difference, in the first two there's no guilt because no one will know (this is important to girls). In the first and last, they likely have some attraction to your country and culture which often includes an attraction to the men of that country and culture. Next up, there is likely a language barrier (even where you are both official fluent in each others language, it is never the same) so, if there's attraction, you can get away with verbal gaffes, silences are excused, you communicate more with looks and touches, if there isn't attraction all of that will be negative... so you aren't even being the same person you normally are when chatting a English girl. None of this has anything to do with continental girls being easier, which they aren't.

Whatever any of you think you have noticed about girls of different nations and their propensity to have a one night stand with you is built up from those and similar factors which will be negative or positive depending on the specific people and the moment, plus the fact that you've not had enough one night stands with enough girls from enough nations to have enough data to state that, especially given all those factors and more which none of you are taking into account... plus the fact that most of you sucked at getting laid for a good portion of your lives hence you are here.

Getting laid is largely about individuals, emotions and opportunities.


Peace,

kowalski

Thank you for your reply.

I am based in Nottingham.

Now I am messaging with a woman on Bumble. She clearly says on her bio she's got a child so she's looking for the right one. She's just asked me if I have ever dated a woman with a child and if I am good with children.
What am i supposed to reply? If she asks then this is important to her and I don't know what to say.

Speaking about culture, italy is a catholic country so for obvious reasons more resistant to progress in that sense. I can say it depends on the area and context as I have lived in many different places in Italy, usually the South is more traditional. But my impression is that this generation, especially in the north, wanted to break completely with tradition. Women from many point of view are more liberated in england, there are more women managers in england than in Italy and a woman can dress in whatever way she likes without getting too many stares and whistles here but also they are a lot more oriented towards looking like barbie, marry and making babies compared to their continental sisters. Which is not good nor bad but it has always looked like a contradiction to my eyes.
Also the context i am in now is different from the context i lived when I was in Italy and I have never used dating apps in Italy, but everything has always happened going out and meeting people.
Here apart from a short period in which I picked up girls in clubs i have used dating apps which makes it different.
But in any case I am used to a relaxed approach whereas here many women of my age or above 30 make me feel like they have got the objective to marry and that's the whole point of dating, which makes me anxious.
Being honest and upfront is the first thing i have learnt and where i come from it is the best thing you can do if those are your intentions. Every woman will accept to be in a non-serious relationship.
Probably it's me, my perception, i shouldn't be making a big deal of it and date them in any case.


But what am I supposed to reply to someone who asks if I'm good with children? Does she mean if I could be ready to be her child's dad? She asked "have you ever dated someone with a child? Are you good with children?". I seriously don't know what to reply.

Aquilaruspante,

Out of interest, are you only meeting women thru online and social circle/work? I would encourage you to at least try cold approaching, if you're not already doing so. It will open you up to a whole new pipeline.

It sounds like you're over-thinking things and going way too much into future projection. Whilst you can obviously joke about these sorts of things to women (and is a useful technique to seed future plans), I wouldn't get serious unless you're actually dating them.

Z

i just noticed your reply now @kowalski, i wasn't ignoring you on purpose.

What you say makes perfect sense if we speak about seduction. There might be slight differences even about that when we change the context but generally its rules are more or less constant.

The same doesn't apply to behaviours and which ones of them is acceptable or not. They change completely according to context. Many factors contribute to a context, like for example age, political ideas, the kind of people you hang out with, education, your past and last but absolutely not least culture.

To be honest from what I can tell based on my experience things are not just different here but an entire different planet and I'm not saying this depends just on culture but there are many are factors that makes a difference with the previous context like age or the fact that here I'm using dating apps which I never used in in italy.



To better understand each other I realize I have to be more clear cause from your replies I understand there has probably been a slight misunderstanding.

For the record I don't need to state soon that I'm not after anything serious but I do when (and that usually happens really soon) the conversation goes on that topic and I think it's only fair. I don't say "I'm only after sex" but rather "in this period I'd rather have something not too serious".

I think it's the case to bring some examples of real life facts that happened to me here and then compared to what happened to me in my previous life so we can understand each other better, then you can tell me if I have just been unlucky or if my experience here is the norm for all of you or if it is dating apps fault.

So these are some of the real life facts:

1) Last girl I macthed with on Bumble. 32 years old, on her bio said "I have a kid so I am after serious stuff". I thought "ok let's talk to her and see". After literally a caouple of days chatting she asked "have you ever dated anyone with a kid? are you good with kids?" and I replied, pretending I didn't understand "yes, I've done it and if you mean I'm ok with it when you ask if I'm good, yes I am". then she replied "no I was asking if you like to play with them, enjoy being a role model and stuff like that." and me "are you looking for a dad for you child? isn't it too early to ask about that? We haven't even met yet. I want to date normally and take things slowly as it should be and we could start talking about that only after it has became a serious relationship and we are planning to live together, anything before than that would be unfair to the kid as well". I replied only because i wanted too see where she wanted to take me, casue I understood her intentions really soon. however she replied that she was offended, cause the kid have a dad and she was only asking because the kid would have been around (can you imagine dating her with a kid around?). Yes, I'm sure that's what she meant.

2) A girl met on tinder on the first date asked me which religion did I belong to just in case we got married. ON THE FIRST DATE! Is it normal to think about marriage on a first date?

3) A collegue of mine in her early 20s was crying at work. When I asked why she replied that the guy she was dating started ghosting her after the 4th date and they talked about it and both wanted a serious relationship. COME ON!!!!! Very similar situation with another colleague, apparently it is very common that men start ghosting after a month long serious relationship here whereas in Italy the opposite is true, i.e. every relationship starts like a non serious one and some of them then evolve into a serious one but not all of them.

4) A friend of my friend was telling my friend how she was worried that she had problems with her boyfriend. They live together after 4 months dating and she was worried about a future together with these problems and how could have they have a family together. My anxiety when i was listening was growing to unprecedented levels in human history. Why do you live together with someone you know since 3 months and why are you even thinking about marriage so early and with a person you are obviously not compatible?

5) I work in a big hospital, one of the biggest in the UK and I have a lot of collegues from 20 to 60 years old. All the english are married or in a serious relationship and if they aren't it is a big problem that need to be fixed.

6) At work an italian collegue said she met her boyfriend on tinder and that at the beginning it wasn't meant to be anything serious. How refreshing those words sounded to me! And why i have never heard them coming from an english girl! i can't even imagine them coming from an English girl! They sounded like the most normal words to say because in our context that's the most normal thing to do and it doesn't mean you meet just for sex. it means you are both aware this is not evolving into something long term and you have not necessarily the exclusive on that person.

7) my housemate, italian 30 years old. He dates English women on tinder. He does what i don't want to do. He comes from a small town in italy and he says he's never met a woman who didn't want a serious relationship, so completely different context than me so he pretends he's after serious stuff then he dumps them. But even he who is used to it, complains some girls here want to rush too much into seriousness.

So to understand each other better these are a few examples to describe my normality here. If you think this is THE normality here not just my normality then I haven't been unlucky but just not compatible.

A few examples of real life facts of my previous life, when I lived in Italy:

1) A friend of mine. Woman. Italian. 33 years old. single. no children.
I was skyping with her last week and she said "I have been training so much over the last year for this competition I have that I haven't had time to meet anyone. As soon as I am done I will fuck the entire world (I can tell you she's not joking)".
2) a friend of mine. Woman. italian. 34 years old.
"I have got a flatmate which is so handsome in Barcelona. My sister came to visit me last week and she fucked him. Only that night tho and just cause he's handsome". She (my friend not her sister) told me as well that she was about to break up with her boyfriend cause there were too many problems. Meanwhile she slept with another man and since he apparently showed to be well intentioned after sex she might think about dating him. The way she said that showed that if the man would have been just after sex that would have been a ONS without any problem.
3) An italian woman, 30 years old hitting on me very hard for a month, after which since I wasn't doing anything, she asked if I wasn't interested. I clearly said I wasn't and she said "I am not necessarily asking for anything serious anyway".
Later we became friends and I introduced her to a man friend of man. They started a purely sexual relationship and she was bragging with me on how good she was to cause him an orgasm with her mouth whenever she wanted. At some point she broke up with him cause he told her this was pure hedonism and she felt like a slut (as you can see everyone as an anti-slut defense).
4) my flatmate one night fucked me and told me not to hope into anything more than that cause that was all she wanted.
5) An Italian 35 years old woman when I was 32 invited me at her place for dinner, we kissed and slept together. I said clearly I wasn't after anything serious and she said she didn't understood what was the problem. I kept sleeping with her for an year and a half asking her even for advice about other women I had affairs with.
6) female 30 friend of mine asks me to introduce her to my friend, man, 30 just cause she feels a partictular itchy about him. They started a sexual relationship that eventually evolved into something serious.


Both lists are a choice of random facts that describes my normality during my previous life and my normality here. The thing is that I keep meeting women that look like are not even interested in Eros, they just want to be married and buy blue stuff for the baby boys and pink stuff for the girls.

I wrote on this forum cause I need to compare my experience with yours and advice. Listing real life facts makes the problem more clear I hope and you can tell me whether I have just been unlucky or my normality here is everyone normality and in both cases you can give me advices on what to change or how to adapt.

I really find unethical giving false hopes to a girl i just want to fuck. It would make me feel so bad.


@Dr_Zed Mainly dating apps and maybe that's part of the problem. I have been approaching girls in clubs with some success for a period but for some reasons I only managed to sleep with one girl, a Greek one. Only one of the girls I picked up in clubs was English. I met her 3 times and never had sex even if on hour 3rd date we were at her place alone watching a film.

But I am interested in cold approach more than you can imagine. It has always been a dream to be able to approach the hot girl you see at work or at the store. I am used to think it's bad. that it is like harassing people but I'm sure that done in the right way it is ok. So I want to know everyhting about it and how you do it!

And yes, I am overthinking it and I can't help it cause I apparently keep bumping on the same kind of woman.
I matched with a brazilian girl last week, 33 years old , no kids and I had a completely different feeling.
We were just chatting and sending vocal messages in a very relaxed way and I didn't overthink anything cause of the vibe she was giving me. Cause she sounded and looked like just a girl who wanted to date. No silly questions like "what are you looking for" or "why are you single". So refreshing! Just chatting and we even planned for a coffe together. Shame she ghosted me!

Cheers to anyone who replied or just read and sorry if I'm a pain but that's a serious problem for me that doesn't make me live well.

And sorry if I take my time to reply but I need to think and find the words cause it is a bit confusing to me sometimes.

Aquilaruspante,

I'm only gonna respond to your response to my points as I don't like reading :P

Basically, I'd encourage at least a little daygame (and night if possible considering Covid) as it'll teach you to take any form of interaction with women less seriously.

For instance, you get a girl asking you about marriage on the first date. Rather than responding seriously, respond with some witty humourous thing for example (like "yeah sure but you're gonna have to earn the marriage rights first lol").

Find a wing in your area, and learn in person

Z

Thank you for your reply @Dr_zed

I get what you mean and it is really appreciated. Probably I'm too concerned about theis thing and making of it a bigger deal than I should even if I am used to totally different stuff.

What would you have replied tho to a woman who asks you if you are good to be a role model for kids, cause she has a kid? i think she wouldn't have accepted a joke as a reply as she was serious.

However this thing of daygame really interests me but I have never had the courage to do it. it is a lot easier during the night in the clubs but in the street, in the stores, at the gym I don't know how to do it.
I am very interested into your experience. How do you do it? what's your hunting territory? How social distancing has affected it?

What would you have replied tho to a woman who asks you if you are good to be a role model for kids.......Man up and be direct, say what you mean. I would say, what sort of question is that? Are you asking if I would be a good Farther to your Child? Thats a bit too fast for me. By the way whats the situation with the Childs Farther? Then your going to have to act on your judgement of her reply.
If your not interested in getting involved with a woman with a child, tell her your not ready for a ready made family at the moment and move on.

As for the day game, If your not comfortable with cold approaching, use the situation approach, e.g. If she is in a book shop and you see her pick up a book, comment on that " Thats an interesting choice of book, although I know nothing about it" Blah! blah!
Just look for any situation you can comment on. Dont stay on the opening comment too long it will burn itself out, move on to another subject soon as possible to build rapport, then say.
"Well i have to go, but its been nice and interesting chatting i'd like to learn more. Get your phone out and tell her to put her number in, or if you feel bold fix a date on the spot.

Well this is the whole point of the discussion. I am used to be direct but it seems it doesn't work. What you suggested is exactly what I replied. I quote from my previous reply:

It seems that I have to take what girls say less seriously from the replies I am having so that's why I asked how do you take less seriously a girl that asks you how are you with kids or which religion you belong to in case we marry.
I seriously don't understand and I realize I haven't been understood. Probably i write too much.

What are your experience with girls here? have you ever had sex with or known a girl who says she enjoys sex just for sex sake without any further committment and she actively seek it or all the women you know have to be lied to if a man wants to have sex with them?

I only meet girls of the second type here whereas where I come from everyone was of the first type. This confuses and depresses me a lot and I don't know how to behave, that's why I am asking for advice.
It can be I have been unlucky, it can be that things are just different. That's why I need an external point of view.
How do you guys do to have sex?

"you don't have to say anything" is the reply I have gotten more often but it is impossible cause the conversation moves there always sooner or later and every time I said I wasn't ready for anything serious it ended there. Probably it is also dating apps fault. That's why I need your advice.

Would love to know your about your experiences.

What are you actually looking for? Long term relationship, friends with benefits or random Girls just for sex?

I'm looking for sex.
That's my most natural and basic need. All the rest comes after that. I might be open for something more serious after I have known a woman better but I am not looking for that. I am ok on my own, I am ok as a single.