I woken up feeling ill the next morning. The date was really prosperous and it has challenged me emotionally at some level.

When I forwarded my text to her about the party she replied back saying she is working on Saturday till 6 and she will see how she feels on the day. She is a spiritual women and makes decisions in the moment, so that isn't rejection, but it is out of my hands.

An old sticking point came up towards the end of the night at my flat when she said that when I asked her out for coffee, she thought I was gay and that's why she said yes. (She wasn't being rude, we were just super honest with each other). Then she said her male friend then said no he is not gay, and the she said she wanted to cancel it but it was too late, I had already gone. We hadn't exchanged phone numbers but just arranged to meet at her shop at 6.

(In the past as well, when I used to game regularly I was trying to flirt with a women after the conversation had gone well and she said forget it man you are just gay. )

Then at another point during the night, I was talking about sex and we were discussing Tantra and my date said I was discussing things in a very business like manner. Then she said "There's nothing wrong in it being business like". I think its because I'm not in touch with my sexuality.

I woke up the next morning feeling sexual feelings for my date with a few sexual visions/fantasies. That I believe because suppressed feelings live in your subconscious mind and they surface during the early hours of the morning

If I was in touch with my sexuality, and not suppressed due to my culture etc, then I would feel those feelings/have those visions in the moment with the women and that would be much more powerful.

If I don't fix this sticking point I am never going to get laid. Period.

So here are some of the things I can do - my options:-
1. Read 3 pages of Art of Sexual Ecstacy every morning.
(For my readers, there is a difference between being sexual and being horny. Porn does the latter but tantra can be healing and does the former)
2. Use an affirmation like - "I am a sexual being, and I feel healthy visions of what I want to do to a women"
3. Do a bit of mindfulness of touch meditation
4. Make a sexual visions buddy - and whatsapp him whenever I see an attractive women, what would I like to do to her
5. For each of my approaches add a little section what would I like to do to her
6. Buy some oils and give myself a massage once a week.

A good role mode is to be like a Charisma Arts instructor Loki who was in touch with his sexuality, sensual, stylish in his clothing etc. He used to Kino against women's breasts etc whilst moving a glass across her and even got a women to unbutton the top two buttons of her shirt in a bar.