I went out last night for the first time after about 10 years with people I met from this forum. I expected that I would just go out and see how I feel. Going on a night out in itself was a big step for me so I wasn't putting any pressure on myself to speak to anyone. However, I spoke to 6 women last night.

The first one was the Universe helping me. I had gone to Boots to get some medicine and I was waiting for it when an attractive women called Charlotte asked me if the seat next to me was taken. I said it wasn't and then just said "horrible weather outside". It was really windy. And she responded and we got talking for about 20 minutes. Unfortunately she was in a long term relationship with somebody she knew since kinder garden.

I went out with Matt and Oz. We went out to a pub near the Old Stein. We were about to bounce when I noticed a girl sitting by her self. I went up and spoke to her. I said my friend dared me to come up and speak to you. She laughed and said did he now. I spoke to her for a little bit. I was nervous. Her friend came and joined her. I did the right thing and introduced myself to her. But I left as it was my first approach of the night and I didn't quite know how to engage her fully. Later Matt said if I had stuck in a bit longer he would have joined me.

After that we went more to bar sort of place. There Matt approached a girl who was in a group. She was stone walling him. Matt persisted. I approached two of her friends. They weren't interested in talking so I left them. I like finding people who are open to being chatted up. I don't like forcing myself on people. Although it is possible through confidence to break through the barrier, most people are friendly, I find, and I'd rather focus my energy on the friendly ones.

We spoke to Emma and Claire for a long time. Two attractive girls based out of Brighton. Later on I found out Emma was engaged and Claire was married. I realized I needed to ask them about their relationship situation sooner, so that I can focus on Brighton based girls who are single. I am looking for a relationship.

I spoke to another girl from Basingstoke who had come with a group of friends. She had a boyfriend and lived 2 hours away, so I wished her well. I was proud of myself for knowing what I'm looking for.

On the whole, I enjoyed myself last night. If I learnt anything, it is that most people are friendly and it is easy to approach provided I focus on the friendly ones and am willing to graciously leave the unfriendly ones quickly. Most girls I met were in a relationship. I felt that I needed to approach more women more fearlessly to give myself the chance of finding someone single and from Brighton.

I used affirmations to help me approach and they really helped me. I am going to memorise these affirmations before my next night out, and repeat them in my head if I am feeling nervous about approaching. Ideally, I want to give myself 3 seconds after spotting someone and deciding to go up and speak to them. Last night I was building up courage for 5-10 mins before speaking to girls. I was also nervous approaching groups in which guys were also there. I think I need to add affirmations about timing of how quickly I approach them and not be afraid of speaking to guys.

I am also considering getting some phone coaching from Wayne. I have huge room for improvement. I am only getting started again after a long gap. I think the key focus for me at the moment is approaching better. I want to go from maybe 5 to about 20 approaches in a night effortlessly (without having to force myself!