Hate to admit that i'm still struggling big time!
I'm thinking I might need some mdma or something to kick me into life!

I saw this really hot girl in the beer garden of a pub and she actually opened me and asked me where was good to go around here. I told her and then asked where she was from. She told me - it's a town just like 20 minute away. I told her that I used to go there and we spoke very briefly about a few of the bars/clubs there. There was a bit of silence shortly after. I tried to not 'force' anything but then she just said 'Anyway, see you later'' and went back into the bar

I then saw her later in a different bar - and some guy approached her and she was laughing and joking with him within about 30 seconds and I thought ''how the fuck did he do that? what did he say!?'' I was honestly thinking about waiting for them to stop talking and then approaching HIM and asking for tips!

I then saw the same girl hovering near the bar but near the bit where people dance in the little dancefloor area. I approached her and said ''So are you glad you decided to get out of *her town* for the night?'' and she just gave me a tiny smile as if to let me know that she had heard me, but then just ignored me and turned her back on me. Ouch. She had been friendly earlier, but now seemed kind of hostile.


Then I saw a another girl who had on an interesting pair of boots and was sitting down at a table.
I said, 'Hi, I like your boots. They make you look a bit like a gladiator! ' She laughed and said 'thanks'. Then I asked her How's her night was going? She said 'ok'
I said 'what brings you out?'
She said 'just the weekend'. I said , 'yeah, i've not had a sober weekend in like 5 years'/ She laughed and said 'me too'
Then I said 'who are you here with?'
her: Just these two *points at her friends closeby*
I said 'hi' to her friends and gave them high fives.
Now, at this point, I just ran out of things to say. I tried to remain relaxed and not let the silence make me uncomfortable and thought maybe she's step up to the plat, but as always the case, she just sat there in silence too, occasionally glancing at her phone. Told her I had to get back to my friends and ejected. In hindsight I guess I could have asked her about her work/hobbies(?), but I just feel as though people don't want to talk about work on nights out? And I feel as though i'm missing some sort of ingredient/skill other people have where they can sort of talk about nothing at all.

Then I saw a girl on the dance floor. A bit later now and I was a little bit drunk. I don't remember exactly how that conversation went. But I definitely couldn't keep her interest. I guess since it was on the dancefloor (even though it was just a bar and not a club so not exactly a rave!) then talking is a bit of a waste of time anyway?

I don't know. I kind of feel as though it's something that 'practice' can't fix, which is what frustrates me. A bit like trying to learn the guitar via 'practice' without ever learning chord structures or something.


I just thank God that I somehow managed to lose my virginity when I was younger and won't die a virgin! I can't tell you how unlikely it feels in my head that I will 'pull' someone again! lol

I just can't seem to make a connection/carry a conversation (with strangers)

And all of my friends (at least the ones who I go out with who aren't settled down with wives etc) are just as lame as me with girls which doesn't help as I imagine i'm maybe someone who could learn from seeing, but they don't care about pulling and have accepted their fate when it comes to girls. I haven't!