>>> APOLOGIES FOR HOW MUCH I WROTE... wasn't my intention but its just how it ended up...



Right before i get into this i know how it all sounds 'one-itis' and all that... yeah i read it and i just want few opinions on this specific idea.

Right basically this is how it goes...

I used to date this girl... I was 'Mr Nice Guy' beta status... Now altho i had beta status i was a year older, Had the looks, Cash... all the beta attractions and thats why i managed to date her even tho i was beta.

btw this girl is a HB9.5... and i think I'm being shallow there...

Anyway i date her for no more than say 2/3 weeks... I was shy nothing really much happened at the time i was a virgin and hadn't had much experience with girls.

So her ex gets jealous of me and makes an effort to get her back. Cos i was 'Mr Nice Guy' beta she goes strait back for him 'The Dick Head' beta.

So of course she then had a shoulder to cry on when he fucked her about... typical beta me

Now i get into my first serious relationship with another girl about 2 months on. I totally forget about her and focus on this new relationship (looking much more alpha from her point of view).

I got fucked around alot in this relationship (2nd one) and eventually decided to start seeing other people behind my girlfriends back. (I'm here to be honest, not morally judged) and at this point when i start talking to the original girl she is like butter for me... (Obviously i was accidently looking alpha or atleast 'Dick Head' beta). this got me a blow job when i was on a break with my girlfriend and a few kisses whilst i was with her... (shes still with the lad she fucked me off for but she's clearly wanting me to take her instead) then i got back with my ex (long story).

Obviously she didn't take this well. felt used ect... so she didn't speak for a while... then i go on another break with my girlfriend and basically the same happens again. and then i get back... and then again the same happens...

So i fucked her about 3 times.

Now the 4th time I spilt with my LTR was the final (this is like 3 months ago and she has moved away and shit so like it is beyond doubt over). I try texting the other girl. no reply. i try adding her on facebook, i get declined... ect ect ect. at first i was a little too needy then i started seeing other girls.

Basically I ain't tried to speak to her for 2 months now I'm currently seeing 4 girls (non are official or anything but they come regularly and w.e so yeah...)

Now I know most peoples immediate response will be go meet other girls ect and forget it its not worth the hassle sort of thing but I don't exactly live in london... where i live Isn't small and yes there are nicer girls... but very few.

I'm not sure if you will get my point or not but w.e..

btw only newish to the community so I present myself pretty differently from last time she seen me... only thing is i don't see her at all anymore. i no longer go to the same college. i live a few miles out. her friend circle is pretty controlled by her boyfriend. so my problem is that i can't find a doorway of opportunity to even try to change her perspective of me...

any help appreciated. tbh i will appreciate anyone thats bared with me throughout this epic post lol.

Much love as always
.db x.