This is a true story that is useful in group sets in pubs and parties as its very funny you need to be a good actor to pull it off but i guarentee the women will be rolling with laughter as its politically in correct so dont get upset as its a true story.

When i was a child of ten years old i befreinded a guy called steve we hit it off and after school i would go to his place and hang out .When the first time i met his parents this was mind boggeling for a innocent ten year old.

As they were waiting outside they were very elderly they drove a mini this was early eighties model were there are only two doors!

The mother a gaint of a women says "hello boys".

The next thing she gets out she gives me the shock of my life as she has polio and has these huge metal calipers supporting both her legs as her legs are twisted and deformed from the polio. Also she using crutches as she attempts to get out (Role play now )"come on boys get in the fucking car your killing me my legs are fucking giving me grief"

As she valently gets the seat forward we get in the car all is well i thought!Now she is sweating profusely and swearing under her breath from the effort off getting back in the car.

She says to her son "You little get git look what you done to me im sweating like a pig"

The next thing she says "My crutches need to get in the back off the car.Im (me) feeling totally bewildered by the experience.

She then pushes the crutch to me "Get my crutch me boy" i reply "ok"

Mother "And heres another crutch you like my crutches my boy"

Well i feel ive got crutches coming out of my ears!

Well its a summers day all is well.(Now role play big time get the samuel l jackson tonailty big projection)

There driving there mini cooper

There over six feet tall

They got polio.

There proud people.

(Pause now to add drama to the final delievery as this is by using body language)

This is them or you acting like your 7ft tall all hunged up like a sardine! grimasing like a twat.

I promise guys if you can act its gets them fucking rolling with laughter and before you guys start attacking me about disabled people i apolgise as these are long dead so no harm in telling a funny story.

Also guys if you have any other funny stories please share as they are useful so please share as i given you a a good one

Or any web sites that are good for materail?

Maybe throw in a few racist jokes for good measure.

I hope to god she was black and had downs syndrome too Piers!

You must act like a spastic pulling a stupid face like retard then making a stupid noise your choise how you define it just remember its comedy and its gets the women laughing,

I don't get it.

Do yourself a favor and see a therapist to sort yourself out piers...

Haha, i like the way he's telling us about a childhood memory and everyone is ripping on him. All we need know is him to reply with...

"screw you guys, im... goin... home"