I am obsessed with the arts of approaching and opening, and although I'm a pretty experienced player now, I never stop working on these aspects. I have split a classic approach/open into 5 segments, from the moments of first contact through the opening words and actions that eventually lead to the seduction proper. I am particularly fascinated by the state of a humans mind when a stranger breaks protocol and initiates an uninvited interaction. Some of what I've learned has sharpened my opening strategies to razor like in their ability to slice through to her mind, allowing me to achieve much more than simply breaking the ice. I hope you find it helpful.


PHASE ONE:-FIRST CONTACT
For our purposes, 'first contact' refers to those moments that exist between the decision to approach and the the moment the target becomes aware that you intend to open a dialogue.

We all know that openers are the single most important component of the entire process, but there is an often overlooked element that is unique to the start of a seduction. At that critical moment of first contact, the player has 100% control of the targets immediate future, the power to take another human being on a journey of his choosing. It's the only moment of such power during an interaction with any stranger. Let's look at it from the targets perspective for a moment.

When someone approaches me unexpectedly, during the first few seconds I become aware of the following sensations-

1 Surprise- (who or what has just disturbed my train of thought?)

2 Fear- (are they an enemy/threat?)

3 Adrenaline- (Fight or flight defence mechanism is placed on alert)

4 Heightened spatial awareness- (as same defence mechanisms raise priority to information flow from the eyes)

5 confusion- (What's going on here? what's his body language saying, can I outrun him? outfight him? who is this person? is that smile genuine? to name but a few of the countless micro decisions the brain is suddenly faced with making)

I will attempt to communicate how to generate the right reaction, one that will pave the way for you to slip straight under her radar and into her mind. With the right amount of surprise, without too much of the fear, (a little is good, as I'll explain later) and as much confusion as possible, what you will have for a crucial few seconds is a wide open human mind, desperately searching for reassurance and answers to questions they don't even know they're asking. The aim is to provide the right answers to some of those questions and establish a rock solid foundation for a flawless approach. And, as with everything in life, the stronger the foundations the sturdier the structure, in this case, of your seduction.

We all know the basics, confident and open body language, mirrored gestures, easy smile, carefully crafted appearance, energy levels etc... So, assuming you have the presentation side of this sorted we can focus on the substance, inside the realm of the mind.


Here's an example of a cold approach that most of us can relate to, my personal favourite, 'supermarket checkout girl.'
A great target for so many reasons, we all have to shop, and there is nearly always a couple of 7 - 8's on duty in the bigger stores. The longer the queue the more time we have to observe the girl, and once we're up the interaction can last up to 5 minutes. There is little to no tension of course, because both parties are fully aware that there exists a strict time limit. Of course it helps that the girl is in a trance like state from hours of monotonously repetitve, mindless labour, the music they pipe in, the lighting and the ambient temperature are all meticulously tuned to put the customers at ease and make them more open to suggestion, so these poor sweethearts are primed and ready for any player.

So, we join the queue, she WILL automatically look up at you as you get nearer, (she won't even know she's doing it, but her subconscious will send the necessary motor commands in order to assess any potential threat, timing is everything, but I find that once you begin placing your groceries onto the conveyor belt, you have about 3 seconds). It is vital that she not only looks at us, but 'notices' us, not overtly, but in a way that subtley conveys a chosen message to her subconscious. I am always ready for this valuable moment, and see it as an opportunity to plant some positive preconceptions in her mind. I make sure I am talking and joking with a friend/fellow customer, or on the phone, but I allow her to catch my eye for just a moment, and I smile, it is imperative that you avert your gaze BEFORE she has a chance to return the smile, before the smile fades from your own face in fact. We'll bank it for later.

The moment approaches, the queue runs down and the girl is saying goodbye and thankyou to the previous customer, she turns to you and smiles. Again she can't help it, people don't like being indebted to anyone, and her unconscious mind will urge her to repay the smile we banked earlier. (this is related to the field of psychology known as 'Reciprocation'. Dr Robert Cialdini is worth checking out).

And so we have her smiling warmly at us without knowing why, (a genuine smile mind, not one of her standard emotionless auto smiles the hoardes of customers normally recieve), we've disarmed her defences, she feels at ease and the first impression is positive, we have had time to observe her, and decide upon our strategy. Most importantly we have her attention, but it is fleeting, auto pilot waiting to kick back in, this must be averted. We need to surprise her, to force open the closing door she has kindly held ajar and start planting some seeds, which with careful nourishing, should reap us a fine harvest.

part 2 - 'Surprise, confusion and the moment of power' will follow, thanks for reading =)