Shooting Plenty of Fish in a barrell
 

I thought I'd post this as I'd never been successful with online dating recently and it's mainly been trial and error.

So here are daleinthedark's top tips for online dating:

1. Choose picture(s) well
Main Picture - It's the first and maybe the only thing she'll see. Keep your top on, looking good, well dressed and having fun. I personally went for a picture of me with a kids body board in a wetsuit on the beach.
Compliment it with pictures of you doing exciting hobbies/posing like a mac daddy

2. Writing your profile
After several years of being honest I went for a humourous approach and it works like fishing with dynamite. Borrow and amend where needed
Make sure your profile information suits your profile as well, I work in reprographics and print so my job becomes "Reprobait". Have fun with it...

3. The messages
Ok so online dating is a numbers game however if you don't personalize the message slightly you run the risk of not receiving any replies. So I insert 1 fun line from something i've seen on their profile and run with my usual message:
I put the first line as something like, You have an awesom hat, I can dance better than you... etc

Follow up you messages like you are a fun prize. Be playful but direct that you want to go for a drink with them.


So this may or may not work for you but it works perfectly for me. I have 2-3 new pof dates a week at the moment, whereas before I might get 1 a month.

I hated online. Gave up on it long ago. It all felt a bit too much like trying to pull fucked up munters you wouldn't piss on in the 'real' world, but trying to do it with both your hands tied behind your back and your legs cut off. :pound:

Haha that was what I thought, until I tweaked things and got to the above, you still get headcases as i think Reflex or Phil have mentioned, but it's a good way to pre-arrage a date or something if you want some arm candy at a push...

The key is -- your profile is like a shop window, if it looks crap or doesnt stand out, they aint coming in!
So youve got to stick an item in that shop window that catches their attention and makes them enquire without much effort or investment of time

have key words in your profile -- ie - i like to travel, ive a dog,climbed everest, was on the titanic
(pictures to match are great) anything that gives somone a reason to comment and message you.
ive looked at stunning girls profiles who i was prepared to invest energy into getting to know and thought for 5 minutes what the hell do i say to them--thats because they had a generic non descript profile-- dont make this mistake with your profile because most girls wont invest that 5 mins in thinking what to write
make it easy for them
ive experimented with top on and topless pictures-- topless often stops nice girls from messaging you-- youa re labelled a player etc etc
but topless pics gets you interest off girls who predominatly want to just fuck casually
- the balance is having pics that show you are awesome without you showing off.

dale your profile is on the funny side, but its non descript bit like a comedian rambling -- there is nothing key for somone to drop you a quick message about
in one of my profiles i once put - god have recently been to see a psychic, couldnt beleive what she said!
-got loads of messages from girls asking what it was or telling me their own psychic stories (girls love that shit)

or i`ll often stick some ice breaking questions on-- girls love to fire you a quick message in answer to them and you can use it to open a dialogue
1) (the classic) If you had £1 to buy me a gift on the way over to mine what would it be

online like offline IS a numbers game
if you talk to every chick you meet on a night out-- chances are some of them will be ones that fancy you- even if you have zero personality, 1 leg and a cock hanging out your pant leg

That could have been your opener "Hey I wanted to get to know but had no idea what to say to you!" :)

Another helpful post, nice one.

To add a little bit more to my earlier post, whatever their reply is to the first message I always tease them that because of their answers I wouldn't be safe having a drink with them etc.
They always bite and after a little bit of messing around it's often them that suggest the drink...

I've also been trying out this Plenty of Fish for a while as a little social experiment.

The good thing with POF is that you can see who's visited your profile, so you can accurately keep track visits per hour, rate of msgs per visit, and also the type of girls, whilst making modifications to your profile.
I've experimented with different taglines, pictures and profile descriptions of two extremes, about 1 month using each:

Description 1.
My self-summary
Welcome to my page and please leave a message after the
beep...

I'm awesome... no, seriously, I am. I'm about 60% awesome, 40%
sexy, and 20% ninja.

So let me tell you about some of the things that make me awesome...

I can make 30 minute pizzas in 25 minutes. I give real hugs
instead of those wimpy A-frame things people try to pass off as
hugs. I do sports, play guitar, cook, eat,party, go to gigs, travel -
simultaneously. I know how to recite the number pi up to 16 digits
from a sheet of paper. I know that the tooth fairy does not exist.
Finally, I can last longer than your ex in bed.

What I’m doing with my life
First off, I work for a large American company as a project engineer. I love my job, but it is JUST a job!

Second, I'm tired of the typical club scene and being asked
if I have any blow... guess I'm looking for someone who can break the
mould.

I’m really good at
Back rubs... and yes, I know what you're thinking. Get
your mind out of the gutter.

The first things people usually notice about me
That I have a face.

Favorite movies, shows, food etc
Stewie Griffin is my homeboy and nando’s is a gift from the
gods...seriously, I love it. AND I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU
SAY OTHERWISE, OR GO FOR ANY VEGGIE OPTIONS,
I WILL END YOU!!

The five things I could never do without
My phone (or pretty much mini computer), that little Men in Black zapper that makes people forget stuff (great if I go on a date I dont like), the key people in my life that are always loyal and there with me, NANDO’S, and of course....a sense of humour!

I spend a lot of time thinking about
stuff....and things....but mainly stuff

On a typical Friday night I am
smiling about one thing or another

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am looking for a good time and a few laughs. I'm not holding my breath, but I am looking for interesting conversation with someone that will not have to be quoted later on in a courtroom.

For our first date we should meet for a drink somewhere low key and public in case you are nuts P.S. No sex on a first date so don't even try it...

I’m looking for
• Girls who like guys
• Ages 19–34
• Near me
• Who are single
• For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

You should message me if
*Disclaimer*
This person is playful, fun, laid back and charismatic. pof.com is not responsible or liable having a great time with this individual. Nor will you be charged for smiles, laughs, or general merriment as a result of interaction with this individual. If you are reading this and for some reason do not like to have a good time, are a drama queen, a spammer, or batsh*t crazy, please go about your day, forget you saw this profile and enjoy life.


...beep!

Description 2.
Hello, I'm Roger "The Dodger" Dodger. You see this profile? This is THE most impressive profile I've ever seen -- it's mine. It doesn't FIT on one screen, because it doesn't BELONG on one screen. I've carefully constructed my profile along psychological principles to weed out women whom most men don't want, and the result has been that I've been meeting some really incredible women who are genuinely attractive, intelligent, confident, and playful. Now, rather than refer to 30 years' worth of research found in academic journals on social psychology and behaviour modification, I'll just sit here all smug and sh*tand point out that if you read my profile and don't message or reply to the Dodger, it's because you're some combination of train wreck, stupid, insecure, and boring. True story.

Since the Dodger is aware that the vast majority of women on online-dating sites are meet-nobody attention whores who are here for only ego-propping, validation, and therapy (that includes YOU until proven otherwise, sugar lips!), I have only one small request: DO NOT MESSAGE THE DODGER OR REPLY TO THE DODGER IF YOU SUCKY DUCKY WHEN IT COMES TO A BATTLE OF WITS. After all, since I'm betting 50-to-1 that you are too timid, socially anxious, neurotic, and downright paranoid to get away from boring text on the computer screen and actually meet a flesh-and-blood person, your conversational skills had better be worth it. And I should warn you that even if you stand your ground in the battle of wits, sweetness, you'll be completely confused whether you want to kiss me passionately or slap me silly. Bang.

I'm smarter, more cunning, more challenging, and have more super powers than every woman on this site. I'm not for beginners, and if you are a beginner, I recommend gaining some entry-level experience with the illiterate knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers in my "Similar Users" box. Just look at them sitting down there like a panel of socially inept misfits and desperate virgins -- I wouldn't be surprised if at least one of them wants you to join him on his webcam so he can show you his junk and gag himself with a poopy-trailed pair of undies.

I'm a highly successful online dater, which I believe is the epitome of human accomplishment. I'm totally the complete package, and it turns out I'm the second most amazing man in the world. (Look, the ****es are constantly asking me about this, so I'll say it once and once only: The guy in first place lives in Paris, writes poetry, and tames white tigers. I think the asshat is a complete douche, a girly-man, but if that's your thing, then good luck to you. Go hop on a plane and enjoy your time in Paris with Fabio, OK? I don't care. I really don't.) [Edit: Now the ****es are saying that if I didn't care, I wouldn't devote any space to mentioning the French **stard. Think what you want.] [Edit: No, it hasn't been established that he's better in bed. What the hell? Why would you rely on hearsay and anecdotal evidence? This is starting to get on my nerves. The Dodger knows I can reduce any female body to a shuddering, trembling, back-arching, convulsing, Dodger-clawing mound of warm, sweaty, surrendering flesh -- even without the tantra techniques I picked up from all those slimeball e-books I read in between late-night porno sessions.]

I've found a better way of living. Shoot me a message, and if it seems we'd get along in some capacity, we'll go out there, make an awful lot of noise, and rock the **** out.

Some things I found

You can see my full profile here zebedee_a_333 travel, music, movies, food, sports, weekends

~I found highest frequency of profile visits occurred when using clear profile picture of me in a social environment such as a nightclub.
~Choose pictures that you look good in. (OBVIOUS)
~10's will rarely ever EVER message you first NO MATTER how sick your profile is.
~Description 1: Gets more girls opening you than description 2, hands down. Attracts a wide variety of girls but also LOTS of flaky ones.
~Description 2: Got less girls opening you that description 1, but the ones that do are much more likely to be submissive. Does a good job of weeding out time wasters and uggs. Girls unlikely to 'beat round the bush' when it comes to meeting or arranging to meet.
~Weired one and I'd be interested if anyone else experienced this. But I found local girls are more flaky when it comes to meeting than girls outside of my hometown. Maybe a social fear??
~Older girls are more likely to meet. Avoid 18-19 year olds who are on 'Just for chat'. They will waste your time.
~If you look good with your top off (no homo), you can use it in your profile but not as your main picture.
~Your tagline and first few lines of your description are 2nd and 3rd most important respectively behind your profile picture as they are shown on on search results. I found cocky funny taglines like 'what's the offside rule?' work best and also gives something for girls to open you with.
~Meeting is ten times more likely to happen after you've taken the conversation away from POF.com, such as exchanging numbers, or facebook.
~On a final note, don't get frustrated, seriously. Online gaming is not like the real world.

Your pictures are great, perfect
you are a good looking lad - you show a topless pic but its at the beach so it doesnt seem posy as attention is draw to the fish, shows you are in good nicmonkey drinking beer is a hook for girls
model shot is great i would probably add that as your main picture

-all you need to do now is show in your txt you are not a cock

Your pictures have hooked the chick, you just need to give her reason to chat to you


Generally i would say most of the text is irrelivent and drivel that you have on there and would scrap it

There is a hell of a lot of "I's" in those profiles. Is this normal for online dating?

Great thread, I actually have some pretty sexy girls replying to me now! :)

anymore links to people's profiles or pointers?

my friend setup one who fucks loads of girls and got nearly nothing at all. hes got lots of game, a decent looker but nothing extraordinary. i setup one for my mate and c+ped that 3Q thing to about 409404904 girls and got 4 replies. i tried to model it from daleinnthedarks on the opening post and have to say it flopped...

i used superstars profile as inspiration for me... mines just about me and shorter and a little less cocky just because i didnt want to be a total copycat. i cant be arsed with the sending out messages because its a waste of my time... but i have already got a hot blonde girl opening me so i have no complaints with superstars shit so far.

when a girl opens u... how do u guys usually repond? i hate this internet formality bollocks..

on fb i literally talk like:
me: hey bitch
her: hey slag
me: hows work going.. or what are u doing tonight?
her: blahblah



but i feel on POF people would be like :O... which is understandable since i dont know them but i also have little drive to get to know them online... rather just take it offline... which for some people would be inconsiderate or illustrating questionable intentions..


and wtf is this:

Hello xxxxxx, xxxxxxxxx has expressed interest in you! (This is a flirt option for women)

is that true via private message or is that just a girl being funnyflirtyjokey?

Glad to hear you're having success !

I met my current girlfriend with that profile ...and it's going really well.

All the best !

PS. Might aswell copy my cheat sheet on here (last few are great for negs)

hey ...

hey ! ! ! what's happening ?

You seem chill.................i had to say Hi.

So are you the bad one, or the good one ?

You are either: the coolest girl I've ever met OR a total weirdo...so tell me 3 interesting things about you ?

are you adventurous ?

what's the most exiting thing you've ever done ?

you know what.....i can tell........you play a good act......but..........deep inside i know there's a little girl who wants to be appreachated for who she is as a person.

I wasn't given an instruction book on how to be human........i just trust my instincts.

you know what alot of girls bore the fuck out of me.........but you you seem FUN.

Part of me wants to stay here with you, but another part wants to run away!

I've eaten girls like you for breakfast, but its cute you steped up....

it would never work out between us........we're to much alike..........We would never get along................It would be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith where we start off beating each other up and end up on the floor making out.

thanks bro.

is that the kind of shit you open them with? i've been playing it quiet with opening and letting girls just flirt/chat to me.. which is alright but slow and i'm pretty sure i should be chatting to more.

okay fuck u man seriously i just used

"You seem chill.................i had to say Hi" adapted it a bit to say cute and intelligent... and wow boom hot lawyer blonde is answering.

I rarely ever msg a girl first. Your profile should be solid enough to get a good selection of girls msg'ing you.

yeah you're right.. think im gonna switch up my about me. i changed it to attract some intense sensitive girls who'd profiles i'd read earlier but time to change up a bit now.

This * 1 million

Only exception I sometimes make is when girls view your profile (that havn't yet messaged).

Chasing randoms just isn't worth the keyboard hours.

:moon:
:non:

ALWAYS do the bum test

Put your finger in her bum...pull it out and put it in her mouth

Once you have done this test ..kissing is disabled for 24 hours

Me neither altho I may have a look, just for the bum craic

the first thing that crossed my mind when you said she was a copper was that she was ginger!

I Always thought you were a pig fucker Jaz.

i really should write a pof guide on here....

Plenty of fish is so fucking useless. I thought that when I moved to a city there would be loads of pussy meet ups, but I've never actually met anyone off it.

Any girls I have been even remotely close to meeting up with turned out to be absolute fuck ups, for example a few months ago I was gunna meet this girl, we had messaged loads & everything seems good, until she said this.... "and when you come here would you pretend to be a little doggy for me? I'll put you on a lead & you can crawl around the floor for me? I'm sorry if that freaks you out a bit babe but I'm really into that"

I was thinking what in the name of fuck is wrong with this total weirdo!?

So I sat shocked for a while, even had a laugh about it with my wee sis, & then decided I'd pretend to be into it, to see just how much of a mental case this bitch was (i had also decided I wasn't meeting her anymore in case I got kidnapped & locked in her sex dungeon) & yeah she was insane, told me she has boys do it all the time, that some do it really well & even "treat her" to other animal imitations like sheep & cows, with full sound effects all round.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.



Anyways this post is about why the site is so shit. I message girls with funny shit & get no replies, if I send 50 messages, I'll get one back if I'm lucky.

My profile is always funny etc, but through laziness was usually always copied & pasted off some American douche, this is what I changed it to a little while ago written by myself:


About me

I am such a nice guy. I really am.

I am looking to find "the one" & live happily ever after.

I am really ambitious & I have lots going on but my life is incomplete without that one special lady to share it with.

I have a good sense of humour & love to tell jokes.

I like watching movies especially rom com's, eastenders, & come dine with me.

In my spare time I will be out helping old ladies across the street, & cooing at cute little babies.

I m a real romantic at heart & just a lovely guy.

**DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST READ!! That was one of my other personalities talking, & he is always telling lies!**

That profile fits nicely in with all the other boring lame "average Joe's" & this makes me soo happy to know that girls will see the real me :') STOP IT!.. That was my other personality again grrr




Ok so, the real me is NOT the guy detailed above, but I do have his best bits.

In real life I am awesome, & I adore YOU ;)

Come on, what are you waiting for girl!?


First date

First date hmmmm.....if you take me for an expensive meal, you will definitely get a kiss at the end of the night ;)




If this profile doesn't work, I give up on that shite site.

That girl was either a guy or a girl taking the piss out of you.

I arranged 2 dates off pof, one flaked and the other was cool. Plenty of flakes at the near meeting stages of chat though.

However the girl I met shown me her pof account and how many messages she gets, I mean she must have had 30 maybe 40 a day.. She messaged me which is why she ended up meeting up with me, I don't use it at the moment but I found it an excellent way to practice my text game, Infact I got rather good and I'm thinking of re enabling my account just for that purpose but having seen the men:women ratio message wise I've been avoiding it like the plauge.

Remember most the people on there (that are not wierdos and you would say were hot) are not really there for dating and only for validation. even some that message you will just be sat around with their girlfriends laughing at people on there. But not all of them, I'd just say use it as practice for texting, it's definitely indirectly got me laid a fair bit and it was good to see how far you can push certain boundaries with people you don't care about.

EDIT:

Oh and stop messaging girls first. Make your tag line and main picture build interest and just view profiles rather than message.

This old Chestnut again. Plenty of Cock is largely a waste of time I find, I'd say you're not getting responses Dan because;

1) It's largely full of cock
2) The humour in your profile is obscure/borderline creepy. As a guy reading that I felt a little bit weirded out, to a girl you might sound schizophrenic.

Also looks tend to matter more on there, so if you haven't got a good pic up or you're just not that good looking people tend not to give you the time of day.

Don't send copy/paste messages, it's obvious. Send a message specific to them based on their interests/observations from their photo's etc.

Meeting girls for dates from POF is a piss of piece. The disappoint i've found is that when you meet them in real life they're not as hot as their profile pics (which are always going to be pictures of them taken at their best/edited/cleverly masked with shadow/contrast etc) or they are just plain weird or dull. Only once have I met a girl who was hotter in real life and she was bang-tidy but a bit of a fruit-cake.

It's a bit too chavy for me as well CuZ iT iZ FrEe InNiT BaBeS!! you get a lot of pond life.

I've found being a bit of cunt/arrogant in your profile with splashes of humour works well.

However I think you're better off hitting on girls face to face when you're out and about, the odds are more in your favor as your online message isn't buried underneath lame messages from 40-50 other chumps sent that same day.

To make things clearer, here's a song about the pitfalls of internet 'dating'...
mc lars-internet relationships - YouTube

Just a non-pickup technical side note. It seems the more "activity" you do on pof, the more girls notice you (higher up in the searches?). Be willing to spend a few hours a day and be willing to travel if you want results. Can't be fucked with it myself.

In my experience, POF is a criminally heinous waste of time. I stopped using it months ago. To endorse some of the things that have already been mentioned.

A few girls I've spoken to have said that they get inundated with messages from guys daily.

Definitely.

Yep.

Do yourself a favour, don't waste your time and effort on there.

Tonight whilst having a beer with my mate he asked me why I don't use dating sites.

Why would I waste hours trawling profiles when I can get a girls number when I see her and set up a D2 then and there. No messaging/email necessary.

I've had a few casual relationships through POF..for those with approach anxiety its a cheap way to weasel out of opening and taking a risk.

In my experience the girls i've got with have been below par and either very shy or a little desperate.

Saying that if you want to be a dick and use it to get some sex/ego stroking while you go after higher quality girls then it has it's uses.

Yep. Don't have high hopes.


Interesting you view using POF to get sex as being a 'dick'. I understand if you view ego stroking as being a dick however.

Admittedly POF isn't amazing but it's free.

When I was trawling it I had no problem having at least 2 new dates a week from decent girls.

I think it's always good to draw parallels with meeting a girl in the Street or in a nightclub. I've had more headcases who seem normal in clubs/out but then show their true colours than I have on POF, where you realize within 3 messages if it's going somewhere or they're a complete nutjob...

Well..the 3 girls i've been with off there ended up thinking it was more than it was (girls think what they want to believe despite being told otherwise!) and got a little hurt.

How to game online LIKE A BOSS
 

For me personally i have had few girls off POF and the quality wasn't great, now i dont know if that is a reflection on me or on the site, but i personally don't rate it anymore and only use it as a random slut generator.

I found an awesome post on SLA forum that I have been using, here the link How to game online LIKE A BOSS(i have also reposted at the bottom as well). I don't bother with sending millions of msg. I instead use the MEET ME macro, I set it for a 1000 then let it do its work. I usually get about 10-20 msg from all the girls the macro has said yes too, from these initial "hello"s and "hey"s depending on the look of the girl, I msg back and try for their numbers without wasting too much time and push for the meet.

In generally within the first or second date i will have shagged em, but again am not talking about supermodels here, i'm merely clearing the custard, I'm not a hero, a lot of em were dogs, but if you are going to be a bear be a fucking grizzly bear

With the right profile and the right pictures you could do really well with this, I met a load using this, but out of those i haven't seen much in the way of quality or girls who i would start seeing on a regular basis (that's not to say there isn't any out there)

You may get lucky and find a girl you wanna stay with or not, but either way you will get laid.

Happy fishing with DYNAMITE :2guns:

Why do you think they thought it was more than it was?

LOL Nova, never one to let sleeping dogs lie. Who do you think you are? Socrates?

haha..wishful thinking on their half. Plus what can I say, I like cuddles.

If your going to do internet game then ...

Use a paid-for mainstream site like match.com

Only contact women who contact you first (or at least have browsed your profile without you browsing theirs first) - if you arn't getting many then your profile simply isn't good enough. This is really the key to making online game time efficient - you will get about 10 times the conversion rate than with contact you initiate yourself.

Exchange 3 messages, reply to her messages one day after you get them ideally when shes online.

On your 3rd reply message end it with " ... lets talk directly, my number is xxxxx". This will yield her number in reply (or her calling/texting you) about 80% of the time if youve got this far.

Phone her and make a specific arrange to meet within one week. Keep texts to an absolute minimum until after 1st date.

still seems like a ballache