After taking a sabatical from women to address some mental issues I am beginning to date again.
I haven't had sex for around 2 months (that was with an ex from a while back who's now a really good friend) but now I don't seem to have any sex drive. I can't figure whether this a result of not having regular sex or something else, I rarely jerk off and I'm not fully hard when I do and I desperately don't want this to become an issue in the bedroom.

I think I've already answered part of my issue as one of the girls I am dating I would love to sleep with so I must have the desire for sex, I'm just surprised that I don't want to go hell for leather on anyone, normally I would. Add the fact that I have no desire to whack off so when I do I'm actually forcing myself into it and I struggle to get myself physically aroused. I'm voicing this on here as hopefully someone may have had a similar issues?

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Stinks of a ticking bomb


its called depression probably after finishing with ur ex, who u should really be getting out of ur life.

u lose sex drive wen depressed. Address it.

find yourself again. Find your passions. Take a road trip. Screw the first girl that you see on this trip when you get your hardon back.

Everytime I've had 'sex problems' in the past...the root cause has been something other than sex. Maybe you are depressed...maybe you are too busy...or maybe you aren't busy enough. Find out which it is?

This needs to be relaxed straight away. The harder you 'try' the more likely it will become an issue. Self fulfilling prophecy, so don't worry about it.

I had this problem, as many guys do at some point. You need to find out why you lost your sex drive. Do you find the idea of sex boring with anyone else other than your ex? The fact your still good friends could be holding you back from fully moving on.

You might want to try getting away from everything. A sexual 'reset', as Lucidfer suggested a road trip or a holiday.

Just bare in mind it'll be something psychological, which means it's just a wave. It will come back, but you just need to figure out what will help it faster.

having been through this lots of times.... drug insduced, depression induced etc
the best way for you to get out of this - start exercising, especially weight training.
it`ll help you with depression as your body will release endorphins, it`ll also increase your testosterone production which will up your sex drive
plus you will be fit, healthy and your confidence will grow from looking good

plus as a crutch if you find yourself having issues with others when you are having sex-- have a few viagra or cialis handy- just dont come to depend on them
i find cialis is best as it works for 48 hours and you get hard as and when you need to unlike viagra

Thanks for the advice guys. I'll give you a little more context. Broke up with my ex at Xmas it was messy and along with loosing my job and a general feeling of worthlessness I went proper suicidal. Rather than ending it I contacted the therapist I knew and I was talking to her within 24 hours. On the Hamilton scale I came out as severe to extremely depressed. I have continued therapy but this is more addressing issues from childhood and not depression.

To get some new perspective and beat depression I have ~

Been travelling to Asia, stayed in hostels thus forcing myself into social situations
I've always been a gym goer but being out of work has allowed me to hit it hard. I'm 31 but I am definitely in the best physical shape of my life
Got a new job that has fell in line with my career aspirations
Signed a rental agreement for a property in an area I've wanted to live since I was a boy
Basically anything that my head was telling me not to do in a depressed stated e.g. Not getting out of bed, not seeing friends, not going out at all, I've done the opposite and forced myself to do it.

My last depression test was a few weeks ago and I came out at 14 which means mildly depressed and I feel even better now than I did then.

Bottom line I love life, and I am massively proud of what I've achieved these last few months. The ex I slept with is someone I have a great friendship with but no feelings for whatsoever (she is not the ex from the recent breakup), she was a friend 10 years before I went out with her, it didn't work as bf and gf so we went back to being friends. This isn't affecting me.

As I say I'm confused as I've dated several girls recently all bar one of them approached me which has never happened before!! Normally I'd want to sleep with them all or just go out and fuck anything but I don't.... Other then this one cool girl I'm dating (she's the one I approached and whom I get on with most). I'm switched on enough to know this could snowball mentally.

In the same way I'm winning the battle against depression (I won't say I've beat it until I've gone 6 months without feeling like my world is caving in, I'm half way there) i intend to beat this. I'll initiate sex knowing full well it's the most enjoyable thing when 2 peeps are in tune with other, and remembering that I'm a great sexual partner...I will have Viagra as back up just in case and for fun as well .

thats a sure sign that you are well on your way out of it -
in that severly depressed state you cannot force yourself to do that

well done
you`ll face many times when you have a big fat wobble but you know in your own mind how to deal with it