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(#12)
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06-10-2009, 01:47 PM
I went up to this girl in a club last night
I said to her "You must be tired" "Why?" she said "Have I been running through your mind all day?" "No" I said "I've just put rohypnol in your drink!"     
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(#14)
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06-10-2009, 02:48 PM
I was chatting up a girl one night, when suddenly she thought I'd overstepped the line...
"Well I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last person on the planet!" She yelled, smiling smugly. I leaned in slowly, staring dead into her eyes, and whispered "but who'd be there to stop me?" That wiped the grin off her face. 
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(#15)
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06-10-2009, 04:27 PM
Quote:
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(#16)
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06-10-2009, 07:34 PM
Quote:
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(#17)
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06-10-2009, 08:18 PM
Quote:
My marriage counsillor told me to be more spontaneous. So I raped her.
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(#18)
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06-10-2009, 08:29 PM
Paddys wife goes to the doctor complaining that after ten years of marriage she had never had an orgasm. The doctor advised her to relax and use a fan to keep her cool during sex. Paddy refused to pay money for a fan and asked his mate if he would mind waving a towel while they made love, but still she didnt orgasm.
Next day she asked Paddy if they could swap over. and so paddys mate made love to her and after 20 minutes of the best mind blowing sex she'd ever had, she orgasmed. Paddy looked at his mate and said.... "and that, my old son, is how to flap a fucking towel"..... I am LeGeNd...
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(#19)
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07-10-2009, 01:29 PM
I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one ready meal and one tin of soup.
I leaned over and said, "You're single, aren't you?" "How can you tell?" she said, in a sarcastic tone. I said, "Because you're an ugly cunt!"
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(#20)
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05-03-2010, 11:29 PM
Scott the duck walks into a bar with an almighty grin across his beak.
"Wow, what have you been doing to make you so happy?" the barman asks "I've been in and out of puddles all day long, and I feel great!" Scott enthusiastically replies. A short while later, another duck arrives at the bar. He looks really down; miserable as sin. "You look awful mate, what happened?" the barman asks sympathetically "I'm Puddles"
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