Hi

I really need some help.. Is it possible that someone has been here and can tell me what they did to get out of it?

I go out on dates and pretty much hold a conversation all the way through..which I then congratulate myself for! Build no attraction whatsoever then come away trying to figure out what I did wrong lol.. I am well aware of all the nice guy behaviours and I'm obviously exuding something as a whole rather than just making one silly mistake here and there as like I say I know what not to do. I try the odd thing like push and pull and disagree with the odd thing but again the odd little trick is not compensating for the the nice guy energy I'm exuding ha does this make sense? I'm aware of body language and stuff..read loads of material, I know not to be needy etc, I don't want to make this too difficult to answer..

I hope someone understands as would really like to know from someone who has been there as I can't keep going on dates and screwing them up I'm not learning from them as I don't even know what it is im doing wrong.

Thanks

how are you getting dates? i'm jealous. The best place to learn attraction building is nights out where you can run 5 or 6 sets in a night. These are short interactions where its obvious what you do right and what you do wrong and they are free. If they fuck up then you learn and move to another set within minutes. Its worth doing.

Yes, my question sucks btw I just read it back should have thought it through better what I was asking. I don't get enough interactions to get better so that's the perfect advice actually, thanks very much.

Id say try and enjoy the dates for what they are, treat them as a learning experience rather than a job interview...eventually your qualities will come through. Don't be afraid to be devilish and playful, just make sure it's in a way that's honest and direct rather than needy and back-handed. There's nothing wrong or 'not nice' about being sexy and sexual as long as you aren't being pushy/pervy about it.

Remember you are steering the ship. She might wanna inadvertantly steer the conversation onto boring shit like your job or her job or some other mundane droll bullshit as an excuse to complain at you...that'll totally kill the vibe...don't let her! Even call her out on it if you have to. Take the conversation ball from her and run some place interesting with it.

Throw out asseseements about her personality or her traits, observations about the bar around you or joke about other previous dates in general, throw out shit that challenges her. If you can get the right kind of conflict and tension brewing it can be a really good thing. There's a fine line between conflict and passion. Don't be afraid to have a playful bicker or two, and if you can weave some sexual subtext into them even better.

If you let the conversation veer onto boring/nice/safe ground because your being 'nice' she'll blame you for having bored the shit out of her and put you in the 'nice guy' box. Which ultimately isn't the place you want to be either way.

Just my 2cents. Hope this helps.

Do you make them laugh? You can be a great conversationalist and avoid the so say dating 'pitfalls' but is there a real spark and energy going on in the conversation?

Attraction happens in an instant and it's fleeting, if you don't get it fairly early on you won't be able to force it.

Also, controversial I know, (some guys swear it is irrelevant) but maybe their isnt a physical attraction for them.

Thanks joker yes it does.. I find I wear out as well if I'm on a date for more than an hour which is when I let the conversation veer off like you said which gets me the crappy results as il sit there for another hour with the convo going downhill and as far away from attraction as poss. Guess I should aim to get somewhere within the hour before I power down.

Yes Thanks for comment I wish I had asked something more specific but these comments have been useful for me to realise.. Think I'm wearing out, if I wear out that's when the negative stuff comes in my head and I become quiet usually start off well and don't act on the attraction then feelnit slip and Plow and wear out become quiet