13-03-2019, 09:46 PM
First off I'm 34 years old married 5 years & I am originally from Coventry.
SO... I'm not looking to get laid or abandon my current wife (Ill expain that below)! I've got myself into a jam two fold and want to open up the situation to some wisdom from the sages.
First, I had an affair just before Christmas (I know) with a absolute stunner from work. She joined late summer as the company she worked for folded and I currently sit opposite her bloody mother! Initially I just recognised that she was highly attractive alongside most of the other men at work (Almost exclusively a male environment).
She stared appearing in our office block more in Aug/Sep which I naively assumed was innocent & she was there to see her mother. She's a few years older than me and has a very flirty nature, you can tell she has always worked with males... Well she kicked up the flirting a notch and made it a "thing" that we go off site for lunch, again this started innocent but after a couple a weeks, pulling back up into the car park she outright says "I like you"....
I shit myself.
I know from working with her mother that her current partner (long term, not married) is a psyco in the local area, which explains the fact none of the "Alpha" guys have gone at her as they are terrified of this guy. She again kicked it up a notch with some real filthy texts at which point I started to reciprocate and well one thing went to another, she stared with the pics etc and I started to believe she was for real & not just a cock tease.
Rationale at this point got the better of me and I laid down the rules, WIFE = LIFE , each time she would counter it and really make it "easy" to just go with it.. So yep things got physical. Might I add that she proclaims (and I am about 80% sure its true) that she has only ever been with one chap!
We got a bit of hand play on the go some kissing etc (restricted to a car on a lunch break!) Then it all happened the most memorable 130 seconds of the last 10 years we fucked like teenagers for the first time.
That SHOULD have been the end.. things simmered down a little we kept the lunch breaks and the kissing/fumbling but a realisation came (we both want status quo with current other halves) and what we have done is expression of singularity??? However it felt unfinished so we agreed a hotel one night pure filth everything ever wanted but never got.. Great I thought.
Well this never happened for one reason or another & it really got cooled down... She then put the "we need a talk" on me and tried in a round about way to explain that during our office party she got what she called "a moment of clarity" I think she "FELT" for me as there was a table of women checking me out which she did not like as I was severely warned by her prior to play it cool with her at the office doo as not to "give the game" away to our colleagues, I think i played it a bit too cool....
Well. you know the story , can I explain the problem?
I caught feelings.. FACT. She/We now both agree "good friends" .. I can respect this as she wants her man & I want my wife. however I want the feeling of the exclusivity I had with her back, Perhaps not even the physical, does that make sense? Key point is I am happy with my wife , she was & is the one for me, we bang routinely and live fulfilled lives. I do not feel guilt as to what I have done but also do not have the stones to jeopardise what we have by telling her the truth about the other woman.
I'm getting vibes form the OW that she is angling to get the "exclusivity" back, I'm actively trying not to lead any of the interactions but she just keeps turning up in our office without any "real" reason.. She keeps dropping hints also that i am ghosting her & that she keeps leading all of our interactions.. She has even started playing on the fact that we have been "intimate".. What is her game fellas? I could be reading this SO wrong as I am a bit slow to pick up, the signs are leaning to round 2 but I genuinely think I've been friend zoned now are there any ways to confirm this?
I might add also that I'm REALLY socially aukwud.. I can handle pre arranged interactions (business meetings, birthdays etc) quite confidently , however put me in supermarket or park & i will blinker out totally I fail hard at approaching / interacting. I think subconsciously the OW has boosted my ego & kickstarted the yurn to be more confident again hence why I find myself here. I know affairs are too much energy to contain & ar TOTALLY fucking barbaric on the partners so this is off the table now... I just want to be able to feel like I can interact / approach other women confidently its always been a part of me lacking.
I know up either up for a lashing or some genuine advise, I come here hopefully for the advise but retrospectively if some fuck was posting what I just did I would go to town on his/her moral principles...