Hi All,

Been a long time, planning to visit more regularly!

Thought I would make a quick and simple post about my recent 'realisation' since I spent a lot of time here when I first really had a full blown realisation and maybe it will help someone out there or me when I inevitably fuck up again and look back in a few years time.

I've held down a fairly steady long term relationship for a few years now however the comfort level has surely but surely creeped to a completely unacceptable level. In a nutshell I went from usually being the center of sexual desire in most social situations to virtually no sexual presence what so ever, becoming horrendously introverted and absolutely owning the 'dad look'.

So (while hoping to avoid moral judgement) someone rather attractive showing interest woke me from my 'dogmatic slumber' so to speak. Nothing has come of that, nor need to, but remembering the feeling of being the object of desire given me a good wake-up call to get a handle on life again.

Anyway I'm not here for pickup per say but rather to work on myself, my relationship and be more social/grow a pair.

What alarmed me the most was what I caught myself doing a couple weeks back, almost unconsciously. I was going to go to the gym and someone had blocked the access road to my house, I just thought fuck it I will give it an hour see if they move but I caught myself out and realised exactly how much of a pussy I was being . I changed my frame from not wanting to have to go looking for whoever's van it was (on a building site/renovation works) because they would likely be some asshole guy (he wasn't) to thinking it was a great chance to challenge myself and shake off these introverted tenancies I had so grown accustomed to.

Might sound ridiculous but this is how constricted my comfort zone has become and 'waking up' to see how far I have receded into my shell has really given me the motivation to work on myself once again.

As embarrassing as this post is for me I hope it will serve as a reminder if only to myself as to why it is important to not stop working on ones self, I have since overcome some of the more ridiculous social anxieties that I have let get the better of me over the past couple years such as starting a weights routine at the gym and I'm planning to eventually get myself comfortable with cold approach again even though it will be for social means now rather than pickup per say.

Anyway sorry for leaving, I will try and stay around!

Db

Great post.
What I love about this whole area is how its much more than just pickup, its so strongly interlinked with personal growth and inner self esteem.
Now you have begun the journey from unconsciously plodding through life to consciously taking control, keep breaking the barriers that are holding you back.
Keep us updated

Yeah it would be good to have a section on relationships and further life goals, especially since this is the natural progression as a result of success.

Personally my relationship itself is comparatively healthy to what I hear of others but I've just receded in every other aspect due to the comfort of it and want to reverse this going forward..

Whats your plan from here?

For myself, weights training, building a new social circle, getting rid of this anxiety issue I've been experiencing the past couple years, finishing my degree then building on myself professionally.

Its not all about myself though, I want to find a way to work on myself without neglecting my relationship. In the past I have always been self-destructive when I hit these points in my life, I would self-sabotage my relationship and other things with the sole purpose of putting myself in a position where I have to work on myself. I hope to work on my relationship and help my partner grow in ways too so its not just my journey this time.

I figure hanging around here exposing myself to peoples sticking points and giving my own reflected advise will help me develop myself without tempting me into a morally grey area or sabotaging my relationship like I used to when I needed to work on myself..

db