Name: Sam
Age: 24
Location: Manchester
PUA Experience: None

Hi. To shorten a long story about me and what brings me here, I've just finished uni and did not have one single girlfriend, gotten laid, or even been able to make my own friends throughout my life as a student.

My main problem has been and still is with inner game. I have low confidence. I get uncomfortable in social situations and sometimes in crowded places too. Attractive girls just make my mind go completely blank, apart from wishing I was interesting or good or 'cool' enough to make them want to me. Inner game issues like I say.

I'm trying to change and I've managed to do things to push my comfort levels and been able to do it successfully.

I've read The Game and wanted to work on my skills with girls for a long time. I gave up even wanting to do for a while. But with improvements I've made with my confidence and pushing my comfort boundaries recently, I am feeling motivated to push myself to improve my social skills.

I'd be interested in joining up with any of you in Manchester.

Welcome to the forum mate.

The more you're in the type of situations where you feel uncomfortable the more desensitised you'll become to them, to the point where it doesn't faze you anymore.
When I first moved to London I was shit scared of crowds. After about two months in the city I was cured of that.

Social skills are something we're not born with but they can be learned, practiced and refined. Some people just learn them earlier on their in life than others.

Glad to see you didn't give up and want to keep going to improve.

Hey mate

I live in Ellesmere Port, I am not the greatest with my inner game after a few life events that drained me of my self confidence. But through a continued process of putting myself in uncomfortable situations and taking some advice I got of here - take baby steps and don't rush things. Things are becoming easier! I'm not great yet but my confidence is growing and all aspects of my social life are growing.

Take it at your own pace but try to put yourself into uncomfortable situations, the more you step out of the comfort zone the more you'll realise your worst enemy is over thinking a bad stuff rarely happens.

Thanks for the welcome and the advice.
I've been able to make progress by slowly pushing my boundaries and definitely believe in desensitisating. Which I think I first came across in The Game, where if I remember correctly Mystery was talking about how uncomfortable he was in the beginning and how he would repeatedly go to crowded places or something until he could approach people.
I tried jumping in the deep end before but ended up having a bad time. But this gradual approach is working.

I'm no expert but I'm definitely making progress. I think the only way it gets easier is continually putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. If you ever fancy meeting up we can practice approaching women.

Welcome my fellow Mancunian, im in the same boat. Maybe we could learn together.

Entice

Check out stuff from RSD nation. Use their website/youtube/etc. Get Blueprint Decoded either audio or video version and work through the stuff you find.


Confidence is something you build up over time. Keep approaching and you'll soon realise you've became a lot more confident. I personally like to watch my body language too, back straight, stand up straight and stuff like that, shows that your carrying yourself with confidence.

Lots of guys from Manchester on here, find yourself a wingman. Write field reports and people will help you out with analysis and any problems.

If you can't get you hands on Blueprint Decoded give me a shout.

M23 and Bespoke- I'm just starting out myself and it's going to be new just opening and trying to hold a conversation for 10 minutes. But I'm up for meeting up and giving it a shot together, could use some support!

Barney Stinson- Thanks I'll check it out.

Entice, M23, Bespoke,

Listen, if you guys are all beginners and just starting out set your sights quite low at first. A 10 minute conversation is a very long time when you are nervous.

It's good to have support. Just take turns picking a woman out, go up to her and say hi, have you got the time?

But I don't like asking for the time if I already know it. If you feel the same way I do about that line just go up instead and say "Hi, I think you are cute". They'll probably say "thanks" and walk on. That's all you have to do.

then report back here how you got on