What do you do when confidence is at an all time low, and within a familiar social circle, you find it hard to approach the girl you like?

AA kills me and takes my self esteem away so bad

just when you think youre improving some chumpy nooby shit brings you back to square one

what you mean?
you need context?

I think he means this part:-

Something called self-consciousness.

what do we do about it, ?

I think baby steps are the way forward. Start to take action and go out. Clubs and bars are a good place to start. Approaching girls in bars and clubs is seen as pretty normal anyway.

Start approaching people by saying "hi". When you start, its easier to do it when they make eye contact. What to say next? Well, the first few times you will shit yourself probably and not know what to say. You may fuck up big time. It may go really good! Either way, it's all cool. Really don't give a fuck. Noone will care if you fuck up anyway. You need fuck ups to get good. Just say what you think, even if you think its crap! You can even introduce yourself and say "i'm entercaspa, from Entercaspa city, an amazing place, been there? Its got loads of sheep, I love sheep" etc Strike up any random shit conversation with strangers. Pissed people generally are quite friendly and pretty soon, after a few nights you will be more confident in talking to people. If you have to drink in a club, make sure you don't get any more than a bit "tipsey" or you will be seen as a weird drunk.

If you approach girls, especially ones you find attractive, you are being true to yourself, because you know ultimately that you want sex with the girl. Therefore its the most natural thing in the world to do. The more you go out the better you will get. I don't want to bombard you with more info on how then to get the girl to kiss you/have sex etc. Just start with organising yourself first. When are you going to go out? Who with? Is there anyone on this forum you can go out with? Then when in the club, approach by saying "hi". If nothing else comes out, thats fine. You can always escape to the other end of the club or talk to your friends.

Hope this makes sense

Thank you sapmi, I do that when I go out, but kowalski is right when he says theres more to this.

The problem is not when I do not know the girl, when im out i can approach cause there is nothing invested in the girl, ie, i know that nothing will happen when i fuck up, but as I said in my earlier post, it is in a social circle that is very familiar with me. plus its towards a specific girl.

now we all know that when we start to try game girls that we truly find attractive as a long term fuckbuddy, that we know already, it fucks up our game. why? because we already invested in her. I cannot desensetise myself from the girl, and cannot emotionally detatch myself, and if i can't do that and talk to the girl, ill just fuck it up, let my emotions get the better off of me and shit you know....

the problem is not one of AA really, now that i think about it, its fear of messing it up in front of people that know me very well. sucks really.
EDIT, and we know that when you feel that pressure on you, it will mess you up youll start talking wierd and acting wierd etc

Just walk up to her & say...

"Hi, Im really nervous to speak to you... coz ur uber hot. do u wanna have a drink with me" just be honest about it. i think alot of AA comes from the fact ur about to go up and blatantly lie about liking her. (what do i say, what do i say) Fuckin MM again.

i dont think you realise, social circle or not, nobody gives a fuck if you get blown out... infact u might get a few banter shots from mates, but it doesnt matter. and she forgets about any person she blows out within 10 mins

Gettin rejected isnt coz you inadequate, u may just not meet her requirements. which could be weird shit like having one eye

there was a girl i liked and i ALWAYS get what i want. But she was into skinny greasy haired goths.

Now granted over time i got there, but instantly i had no hope (and im a fucking legend) i got blew out loads

so just stop pussying it and next time u see her, Imagin im watching u and saying

FUCK IT, JUST GO AND ASK THE SLAG!!!!

Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !! Fuck It !!

u will feel ur life change either way.

Yeh, I just saw the social circle bit lol Silly me! However you choose to handle this one, don't let this distract you from speaking to other random women you fancy. As you get "better", speaking to people like "that girl" will be much easier.

As far as this girl is concerned, what is wrong with striking up a conversation with her? If it fucks up and SHE is impolite/rude, she will look like a dick, not you! Don't ask her out, or put undue pressure on yourself. Just try and strike up a normal conversation with her. Flirt a bit e.g hi 5 her, misinterprate whatever she says meaning that she wants to sleep with you. Be really tongue and cheek. I'm sure you know about tonality and eye contact, if not do a search for it on this forum and practice on random women! It's damn difficult, but try not to fixate on one girl that you haven't had sex with.

I have a variety of friendship groups to which I belong... And i've come to the conclusion that there are basically two types of men in the world...those that 'get it' and those that 'don't get it'.

Those that get it won't (seriously) mock you for having a go and failing and just having a good time with women and in general. Those that don't will. Furthermore those that don't 'get it' will generally do one of two things...watch you, will you to 'fail' (which as they understand it is not getting a number/snog/fuck) and then mock you if/when you do...OR they'll adopt you like a court jester and encourage you to go out and open groups that they want to interact with (but lack the confidence to) in the hopes of riding your coat tails and picking up your left overs/'stealing' women off you. You end up playing the clown/'joker' for selfish dickheads that aren't really your friends at all.

Generally, nerds(geeks/introverts/ call them what you like) will be more likely to watch and will you to fail and take passive aggressive jabs at you when they believe that you have. Meanwhile brutes (jocks/extroverts call them what you like too) will generally co-opt you as their court jester if they feel that your ability to engage women is something they can exploit to their own advantage...But both behaviours come from a position of deep insecurity and weakness.

So you need to work out which types of people you are surrounded by and just try and go out with one or two guys that 'get it' that you can relax and have a laugh with. These guys are your real friends.

As you get more of handle on this stuff you'll be able to take control of groups that carry around negative energy and turn that energy into posetive energy, but there will always be some men you just can't reach, some men that wanna stay sad and will drag you down with them if you give them half a chance. So don't.

Also just try and start conversations with PEOPLE...not just the one's you wanna fuck. Get used to chatting to people and sharing a chuckle. Let conversation and interaction be it's own reward.

Hope this helps.

Thank you man, that’s some solid advice I will take in and just do it

that’s what I need to do man! Stop pussying and just go for it, and admit myself, instead of covering the true objectives, that cover is the one that puts pressure on all of us really. Thanks phill, taken on board