Man, dont be so hard on yourself. We all have ups & downs in life, we have to have low points in order to appreciate the highs, & its fighting back that shapes us.
Taking your own life means game over, finito, lights out, dont make a permanent decision for a temporary problem, things get better & you come back stronger.
Im saying this as someone who has been through a LOT of shit that less strong people couldnt have handled, i barely know how i did it, but i did.
Good lad for choosin life
stick around cos you only get one shot, dont throw it away.