House sitting for my friend in chester, looking after his kittens while he is away

Finished work and got the bus into chester ( Turbo went on my car which is costing me £500 to fix..and im on a bus being a bus wanker.. so not in the best of moods )

While on the bus i was trying to get my self out of this awefull mood by listening to music and loaded up the pof app

had a message from a few girls in the chester area so started chatting to a few with the intention of having a lady of the night come visit me

Girl 1 will call her Tammy ( 19 , nice big natural tits and a sexy size 6. )

After several messages just said " right im coming off here now but here's my number and we can chat later 07blalalalala "

This seems to work nearly all the time and most girls txt straight away. after 2 or 3 txts I just call them so they know me abit better

We carried on exchanging messages when I started talking to girl number 2


Girl 2 - Claudia

(31 , slim blonde ..high cheek bones and very pretty face.)


had quite allot in common ( both It Contractors, like dogs, same music etc

sending each other messages for the duration of the bus ride. Got back droped my stuff of and went straight out to get a chip barm

I havnt had any bread in 2 weeks and this was the first proper fatty food I was having.. this and listening to terrible dubstep while walking to the chippy put me in a really good mood! Plus the fact 2 chavy girls where out in their dressing gowns having a proper argument...no fight..no flopping out tits tho

on the way back to the house and nomming on my chip barm I got a message from claudia saying we should hook up ( quite forward of her and only 10 messages deep! ) So i replied with

"Yea id like to hook up, im house sitting tonight in chester if you fancy coming round for a few movies and a drink.."


she replied.

"Ahh I get it you got house to yourself and you wana make the most of it!! haha!

was gona say we could have gone out for few drinks tomoro. - but your not here.

You stay over in Chester much then?

Duno about just tonight like! not somethin I do often!! x"


Shot right back with

" Dont be so daft.... I just wanted to see if you wanted to join me while I get drunk while playing with kittens and watching terrible films"

Claudia the tease " actually you know what I would be up for that!
I'll get ready. and come over? x "

BOOM! my good mood was higher then a lost kids balloon.

and having kittens to temp girls with is is amzing!


So its 6PM..ive cleaned the place . cleaned the cat litter and feasted on my epic chip barm ( pissed off as he put the barm in with the chips wrapped so it went all soggy... specifically asked him to have it seperate...utter bell )

Tammy txt's me and i decide to call her.. Good Banter on the phone..she sounds really a little ugly on the phone which really gets me excited as we all know that if a girl sounds fit on the phone...she prob isnt...

After we catted utter dribble for the last 5 min she txts me soon after asking if I want company tonight and help looking after the kittens ( What a man cant look after kittens ? )

i dont normally even like cats but pussy's attract pussy I guess

so after all my bad luck in the week ( loosing pass port , car breaking, speeding ticket , spilling my yoghurt all over a a girls leg at work) I was really buzzing about the night ahead

So I decide to meet Claudia over tammy due to the fact she has her own house in chester ( easy for me to stay if I cba driving back to southport ) and that she sounded even fuglier on the phone !


Claudia txt me..she is on her way..10 min away!

A quick pre squirt of fabrice all over the place and put the disaronno in the friddge ( yes i am aware disaronno is a girls drink but I absolutely love the stuff with coke.. tastes like Dr pepper! )

Knock Knock I open the door and there is she.. Sexy red high heels with black tight leggings with a nice white top and small leather jacket. Blonde curly hair to the shoulders and not too much make up..real stunner

I take her hand and lead her inside while proceeding with a hug and a cheeky bum squeeze.she kissed me on the cheeky ( I blushed a little ) She had got a taxi and brought wine so was a good start to the night. Embarrassingly enough I forgot I had left my ipod dock playing in the kitchen with BASS CANNON playing * MEGA CRINGE *

Flux Pavilion - Bass Cannon - YouTube

Interesting music.....she said. I laughed and waked some smiths on while getting her a glass of wine and heavy dose of disaronno

So we were on the coach watching some film with Vince Vaughn in. He is helping his friend get over his ex by taking him to las vegas. and the is a scene here he chats up a bar girl and gets her and a friend plus his friend back to their place for drinks. Vince Vaughn gives her this empowering look..and takes her hand..she then leads him back to her room ... not sure the name of the film..

So im very relaxed..sitting back and enjoying the girls company , i feel a little on the spot soon after tho as she is asking me allot of questions like

" You seme very confident... have you done this type of thing before "
" I bet you have done this type of thing before.."
" Your very sure of your self.. with your hand on my leg "
" so what do you see in a 31yr ? "
" I hope you havnt got a gf or seeing someone else "

I was starting to get pissed off with her very direct questions... in my head I was thinking " Pull her up. lead her into the kitchen..Bend her over the kithcen table. pull her tights down and impale her with your rythem stick"
This did not happen :/ instead i went back to enjoying Vince Vaughn be awesome

When I replied to these questions she kept calling BULLSHIT! to my responses..I felt so transparent.. Now I was just trying to being as natural as I could . I was sitting back in a relaxed posistion. One hand stroking the back of her neck or leg. Calm relaxing tone



at times i didnt carry on the conversation which left a silence for a few seconds.. then she started up a new topic. ( ive started doing this more often. Just letting a silence come up and seeing if they respond. If not I would prob just call it out and say " this is awkward " but luckily I havnt had to do that yet in this situation ( still improving on this )

I lean in and kiss her for about a minute and I pull away and go get another glass of lovelyness and wine for her

She then starts talking about the male dominance in the workplace and how women have it hard etc..I could of debated this but just shifted onto a more positive topic as i cba arguing

2 glasses and half a bottle of disaronno we went outside the back for a smoke

Kittens followed us and were being cute outside, Started having a smoke ( I was smoking a spliff )

She had never tried it before and asked if she could ( I rekkon bs as she has been to a few festivals and she is 31 but hell it could be true )

Sat down and put some workaholics on.. I got her to sit inbetwen me lying on the couch.. Was massaging her neck/back and she was responding really well. The disaronno/weed cocktail was feeling great and I turned her around and we started kissing

Pushed her down and she starting give me a cheeky kiss, Took her hand and led her upstairs

Then i fucking failed and my man hood didnt feel like getting hard...
" F*CK F*CK F*CK *FCk why are you not working..."

" chil lthe fuck out, got a fit girl in your bed that your going to destroy.. just chill"

No mater what i couldn't get it up ( dark dark time for me )

so we stopped..have a brief akward moment and went downstairs for a smoke/drink

While outside we were chatting and i said
" not sure what happend but i can assure you its nothing to do with you. ...Turned her around while complimenting her "

her " im not sure what happend either. it was full on then...yea :/ "

it was getting late and we both have work in the morning. She said she has txt her friend to come pick her up... 10 minutes later while wating i offered for her to stay and get a taxi home ( Too fucking late of course as her friend was on the way )

" Yea you should of asked me before as my friend will be here soon "

Fail number 2 from me..

Still outside the back she started kissing me..grabbing my hands and putting them on her tits and pushing my head into them..so i thought fuck it ill have a 2nd attempt to save the night. Turned her around, pushed agaisnt the wall...pulled her tights down to her ankles and entered her..

after 30 seconds of bunny hopping it bloody happend again..!?!!?!??! I felt like such a idiot. Fer friend came and we kissed..she left

Took me 30 minutes to have a wank afterwards..something wasnt right!

Night over.

So on reflection.
my man hood failed.. ( i do have other things on my mind, a little guilt relating to another matter, my bad week , work stuff ) The drink and drugs were not a factor as it always makes me even horny as normal!

After the incident she asked to meet up again still, and said we should go for drinks and let me stay at hers. But she kept asking how I felt the night went. my response " I had a fun night other then the mishap before! " didnt know what else to say

This incident has happend before with some girls. A part of it a feel is that if I dont feel fully Dominant towards a girl.. my manhood fails.


Thoughts guys ?
This is a primitive problem id like to eradicate

Help needed!

It happens everyone at some stage, & yes it is soul destroying at the time, its almost like the end of the world & you feel like a little tiny small person who is not worthy anymore.

I lost my mojo for a couple of weeks a year & a half ago & totally shit myself, i had started seeing a girl too & after about 5 times failing the physical i was desperate & got aphrodisiacs & they kick started the magic wand again. After using them once i didnt need them anymore...although i did use them anyway as they are a lot of fun, you can get female ones too.

I felt quite lucky that the girl was so patient with me & that she didnt name & shame me via facebook/myspace etc, but she was well rewarded for her patience.

Get some aphrodisiacs for your medicine cabinet as a backup plan for when your willy wont work.

Unfortunately, this problem is not uncommon in people who have appallingly bad dubstep on their iPod. This happened to my friend after listening to Skrillex. People need to be warned about this problem - it causes thousands of cases of impotence every year, more than alcohol and ecstasy combined, and must be stopped before it gets any worse. I'm just thinking of the kids.

I recommend listening to some real music - if it must be dubstep, try something like this:



I'm getting an erection just listening to this now.

She still wants to see you, so she obviously likes you still. Don't stress too much.

As people have said, little blue pill or equivalent is an option and will sort you out. However, word of warning from someone who has done this regularly. You can become reliant at times, especially when you're sleeping with a lot of 'new' girls. Also, you can become very obsessed with you're sexual performance. Sex just used to be fun for me and I didn't even think about my performance too much. Now I have to ensure the girl goes away having been blown away by how good the sex was. Even girls I'm not into that much. I think I've lost the fun element to it a bit. This is not healthy, reeks of fragile ego and stems from me being in a similar position to you a few years ago. End of disclaimer!

Ive been down this path before
also liked the idea of girls gowing away being ruined for all future men
then i just decided i dont give a shit anymore
now i tease them a bit, give them a time limit on how long it will take to rub their clit and pussy to make them cum - if they take a while i cant be arsed and then just fuck them and enjoy myself

So an update on this

Went to Amsterdam for the weekend. came back on Monday and called her, chatted about shit and arrange a few drinks in town then back to hers for more drinks.

So I better not fuck it up this time..