getting married

[chops147]

I feel this is probably the wrong place to ask and feel kinda bad talking about this on here but anyway.

I've been seeing this girl for a while and I like her a lot she's got lots of great qualities. She's smart, funny, sweet, kind, she doesn't drink which is a plus for me as I have a drinking problem and another drinker isn't gonna help. oh yea and she's hot.

thing is she's american and she goes back to america in august and I could go with her get married and thus keep the feds of my back.

But at the same time I'm thinking I'd be turning down the variety and I'm not gonna sleep with other women once we're married cos I'm a man of my word.

I've got nothing going for me here really. My job sucks I've been living in this crap town since I was born and I'm getting seriously bored (no motivational speaking please).

but If I move there I'll be unemployed and once my saving run out which will be very little I'll be living off her for a while which I hate.

so I don't know what to do.

p.s don't say go with your heart for fuck sake.

[Giant]

Two main questions here, how long have you known this girl for/how well do you really know her?
What are the chances of you finding a job over there?

[chops147]

Originally Posted by Giant

Two main questions here, how long have you known this girl for/how well do you really know her?
What are the chances of you finding a job over there?

one year.
I know her pretty well plus I forgot to mention she'll be earning more than me cos she's got a degree and a job already lined up.

as far as me getting a job I have no idea but I could use my crap plumbing qualifications and oversell them cos they'd have no idea what they're worth.

[PostScript]

Nobody can tell you what to do here mate.

Depends on if you both love her and are at a point in your life where you think it would be healthy to make a sideways move.

Can you not spend some time there and get a feel for it without tying the knot straight away? I know nothing about american immigration rules. I know plumbers who make very good money though, and believe the same is true over there.

PS

[sapphire]

Originally Posted by chops147

but If I move there I'll be unemployed and once my saving run out which will be very little I'll be living off her for a while which I hate.

AFAIK you wont legally be able to work for 6 months if you go to US on a marriage visa.

Overall I wouldn't recommend it in your position because the US is a shite place to live if your having to scrape around for money: no free medical care, no minimum ware, very poor benefits. Well unless your GF is really loaded (or her family are ...).

[chops147]

Originally Posted by sapphire

AFAIK you wont legally be able to work for 6 months if you go to US on a marriage visa.

Overall I wouldn't recommend it in your position because the US is a shite place to live if your having to scrape around for money: no free medical care, no minimum ware, very poor benefits. Well unless your GF is really loaded (or her family are ...).

I think they do have minimum wage and free medical but both are crap in comparison to the uk.

that marriage visa thing is interesting though. I know you're not alowed to leave the us for two years. I'll have to ask my uncle cos he did it.

[RLAJay]

Chops.

There are a million directions to look at this from, there are millions of possibilities, caveats, risks, dangers, etc etc. So many things you could take into consideration, a million ways you could reason against this.

There is absolutely no way to know for certain what might come of it. It could be perfect, it could be plagued with stress, money problems and the like. A war could break out, a massive second recession could occur, any number of things could come together to break it.

However, you will never ever know if you do not take risks. If you really want to marry this girl then fucking do it and commit to making it work, not a wishy washy "we might work".

You and her are the force behind making it work, it will work as long as there is commitment to making it work, it will stop working as soon as one person loses that commitment.

---

Alternatively, we could forget the sanctity of marriage for a moment and look at this outside of that (in my opinion) unnecessary nonsense and look at the now. You can have a marriage in order to simply be together, if that is what you want and what she wants. Have you tried talking to her? What does she want? Try communicating with her opposed to asking people on the internet?

Does she even want marriage?

Edit: That sounded harsh, I meant, have you spoke about it with her?

[Knave]

Originally Posted by chops147

I feel this is probably the wrong place to ask and feel kinda bad talking about this on here but anyway.

I've been seeing this girl for a while and I like her a lot she's got lots of great qualities. She's smart, funny, sweet, kind, she doesn't drink which is a plus for me as I have a drinking problem and another drinker isn't gonna help. oh yea and she's hot.

thing is she's american and she goes back to america in august and I could go with her get married and thus keep the feds of my back.

But at the same time I'm thinking I'd be turning down the variety and I'm not gonna sleep with other women once we're married cos I'm a man of my word.

I've got nothing going for me here really. My job sucks I've been living in this crap town since I was born and I'm getting seriously bored (no motivational speaking please).

but If I move there I'll be unemployed and once my saving run out which will be very little I'll be living off her for a while which I hate.

so I don't know what to do.

p.s don't say go with your heart for fuck sake.

Someone grab the electrodes I'll hold him down I reckon four or five bursts and we should have him cured.

Look its going to be hard not to sound condescending but by moving you are not essentially changing anything are you?

There may be more opportunities for him in the states than in his poky village...