Ok, give me a list of funny things to try when im there....

i e pickup lines an shit, and ill let u know how i get on

Walk directly up to a girl and kiss her smack on the lips without speaking.


Say: Hey nice hair, can we fuck now then?
and
Nice face, can I fuck it?


If you get a girl in a taxi with you, get your cock out and say something funny (can't think of anything its late right now)

Try telling a girl you're gay, then winning her back when she finds out you're straight (and fuck her)

When asked what you do for a living, tell them you're a serial killer, and really go with it.

Round the pool, push a fit girl in!!! When she asks what the fuck you're doing, respond, I wanted to make you wet! It worked!

And finally,

IF a girl rejects you, pour your beer over her. When she goes psycho, say you saw it in a romantic comedy!

Watch some Dexter before you go and definitely go with this one. Be as detailed as possible - watching Dexter should fill your head up with lots to say on the subject, it's also brilliant.

Phil you're in fucking Ibiza!!!!! How many girls are you expecting to meet that are NOT either drunk, off there faces on various pharmaceutical products, horny as fuck because they are on holiday or not able to understand a word your saying because they are foreign?

Here's your magic bullet chat up line guaranteed to get you laid, 'I'm Phil'

Do you think that German girl hasn't spent 2 hours on a plane practicing 'My name is Anna, mine englesh is not so good, I'm from germannieee, do you perhaps have condom and ketamine', wants to hear a lame chat up rountine.?

She wants to wake up in a strange bed with her underwear all over the floor and not remember who the fuck she is or what planet she is on. Don't waste your time gaming them its like AFC's picking girls off the dance floor at 3am in the UK.

actually, ibiza isnt really about the sex, its more about the parties...

and bein off ya barnet, the last thing u wanna do is fuck

I suggest buying a T-shirt that says "Lads On Tour" on the front and "Phil 9" on the back. Preferably sponsored by Jagermeister.

futher to this point, the idea isnt to get laid, its for fun

if i wanna smash sumthin, ill just do it

thats contrary to my boys who've went this year/last year. they said its a fucking orgy.

hey Phil hier. Ik ben een zedendelinquent!

Maybe im just being a fag here but when i went to Ibiza for a stag do, i actually thought it weas a great place to take a girlfriend for a long weekend away.
2 hour flight - beaches and sun - sunset bars and food is fantastic, sit with your bird on your knee watching the sun go down together with a glass of wine.
go out to a few bars, maybe one night go to a big club like pasha.

ace weekend together