ok guys

Had a date lined up couple of weeks ago - ultra hot Milf with a big boob job--had porn star written all over her -- anyway
we arrange for me to go to her house as thats her only night free for a week and she couldnt find a baby sitter for her daughter--so she agrees i`ll go over there , we`ll get a take awy and have a banter.
she rings me the night before but (im out with another girl so i dont answer)
I txt her later asking her what she wanted and wether everything was ok --she said yeh
ok so day of the date 2 hours before (its an hours drive for me) she tells me shes feelin weird about going to her house and wants to cancel and hook up in a bar another time.

I was pretty pissed because yes i can understand being weird about meeting at your house so thats fine--but the fact that she tells me 2 hours before and fecks my whole night up wound me uo-- so i told her on facebook chat i understood but was a bit annoyed she tells me 2 hours before.-- she then gives me attitude so i tell her im not interested in meeting her


fast forward to tonight
had a good banter via txt going with this hot chick- plan to go for a drink in leeds tonight with her-- only last night she tells me shes going seeing her friends band-- she says shes not gettin drunk because she wants to be ok for me tomorrow.
i txt her this morning to see how she is-- she goes-- feel horrible cant make tonight sorry.

again my time being wasted and this fucker knew she didnt want to get drunk beforehand.--she was txtin me that night saying she wasnt getting drunk!

so im annoyed and txt her back saying
Great....so we arrange a date, you go get wankerd the night before whilte telling me you wotn be getting drunk, then your too rough to hook up.


Guys how do the i handle this shit?

should i just have gone in both situations -- yeh ok no worries and not let it known that i was pissed off?,should i then have just deleted her number and wait for her to get in touch or move on.

i really dont know how to handle these situations because if im pissed off i have a habit of speaking my mind rather than sucking it in.

help!

This sort of behaviour really annoys me. Not just with girls, but anyone. It's just rude and annoying when you get your plans messed around!

Like you Reflex I also struggle to know how to react. I have done the no worries reaction and the pissed off reaction in the past and to be honest it's usually game over.

One time last year I was meant to be meeting a girl one evening, but couldn't get through to her. She rang me a 2/3 hours later and I just ignored her. (I think she said she left a message saying apologising and saying she was with her friends or something.) She then rang a couple more times and I did the same not because I was trying to play games or anything just because I thought she was a tit for not picking up earlier when she knew we were meant to be meeting. I went out on a night out instead. On the 4th time I picked up as I was back at home. She was really apologetic and we met the next night and had a great couple of weeks together (she then left the country).

This seemed to work really well. However, points to note, she was really into me anyway, we had slept together before and I can't remember how concrete our arrangements had been in fairness.

Regardless I may try the old ignore if I experience this behaviour again. Seemed to work better than the other options.

Yeah I recognise this and what's behind it. Starting with knowing what's going on may help.

It's an LSE thing, to different extents some birds will go with the flow and be led, simply because they don't have it in them to say no or resist the flow. Especially if they're being led by someone of value. There are developmental reasons for it, but I learned it from watching my sister, who mucks people around to a staggering degree. Blokes, anything potentially contentious, she'll go with the flow but subconsciously she's already said no. She'll wait and wait and wait, until the pressure and emotion builds up to enable her to overcome her nature and come out with an excuse.

It sounds pathetic from our point of view, if I agree to meet you at X to do Y, I know you will be there. It's a bloke thing, we both understand.

So it looks with bloke vision like like you're on, you're getting the number then the date or whatever, but it's not...it's a matter of time.

What to do? The only way forward is to just laugh and let it bounce off your ego rather than taking it personally, it's just her being a girl you can't admonish her for that even if it is irritating, not reacting negatively while not being soft is the only option. After all, either you've dodged a potentially irritating bullet, or she'll pounce you at a later date because you handled it so well.

PS

ive never looked at it from that angle--so in effect im steam rolling the date forward and shes not strong enough to say no until imminent doom is upon her?

so ok how do i react then?
say somthing like-- yeh dont worry about it
then txt her in a few days and re schedule?

You are looking at this all wrong IMO its about setting boundaries you’re the man you take control and you certainly don’t take this shit.
If she does this then something like ‘that fine these things happen I’ll just give Sarah a call’

This will produce all kinds of reactions ‘who is sarah, is she a friend’. If she confronts you just say ‘someone I know’ now you’ve created mystery and non-excusivity to her, she won’t flake agin or if she does move on because she was never that bothered.

Its important in relationships as well my girl knows if she does this to me more than once without a really good reason she risks losing me.
Punishing her is never a good idea mate, it just creates a negative connection in her head. Cue RealJay...

Act cool these things happen but you’re not just available to her exclusively, if she flakes you have other things to do.

ouch! i can honestly say in my mind i think 100% of birds would say 'whatever, or go have fun then' and then youve lost them, plus it sounds really childish saying that?

does that really work? anyone!

Ur best bet is to just not reply if its by text. let her build her own reaction, the answer in her mind will be the one she least wants to hear.

if its over the phone just say. ok cool, take it easy, then delete them. if they wanna get in touch they can

its never childish of course you can make it, I just want to convey that you don't to appear that she is all you have.

sure its a little smoke and mirrors but what do you when you enter a club?

you speak to the hottest girl, why because every other girl notices its the same thing and yes it does work

If she says 'whatever' you've either done it in a childish way or going back to my other point she was never that bothered to start with

In effect yeah, that's exactly what's going on. You don't want to analyse yourself to death over it, it just is what it is. There are degrees of this in different girls, you'll start to see it at times now, but you don't want to change your whole approach for the occasional girl.

yeah, just go uber casual, like it's water off a ducks back, that's the effective high value mature response...sub-communicates you're not bothered, your life is good, it's you elevating the whole frame if you see what I mean.

if she pretends she's ill for example, just text "no worries, get well", no supplicating smilies to take the edge off, no bollocking either.

If you want. Personally, my casual response isn't an act, I literally move on because I can smell this from miles away and I don't want a clone of my sister spreading inconsistent drama in my life. So for me, this is one of few things I naturally "got" from the start, I don't get much of it as a result.

I'm going to bed now, hope helps tho.

PS

Yeah Phil get's it, predictably. Just spotted his comment when I was about to log out. I don't delete the number personally, but yeah.

PS